“Imagine If That Wasn’t Really Snow” Think Nations Cocaine Users


WHILE the country is being hit with a bitter spell of cold weather this afternoon, many cocaine users are wondering what it would be like if the snow wasn’t really snow at all.

Large flurries of sneachta have hit many parts of the island today and is set to tease people throughout the week.

“Imagine if that wasn’t really snow.” said self confused cocaine user Derek Kennedy. “There’d be loads of people out of their brains walking around the place with shovels and bin liners so they would.”

“They’d be killing each other over the stuff and everythin’!”

Sociology experts believe that if cocaine did fall from the sky like snow, Ireland would be in serious trouble, both mentally and physically.

“Large quantities of the drug falling from the sky would more than likely have major implications on the way we go about our daily routines.” said Professor Martin Townsend of the cocaine falling from the sky research facility in Trinity college Dublin.

“People would unwillingly ingest the substance and would be constantly high from the drug…. for ages like.”

In a recent poll, 3 out of 10 people in Ireland said they wished that the snow would somehow turn into cocaine and continue right into the Paddies day celebrations.

“There’d be some drinking done then!” concluded absolutely everyone he thought about it.