Category: HEALTH

Every Fucking Thing May Pose Cancer Risk, Finds Study

EVERY fucking thing may pose a high risk of cancer, according to a controversial new study published that contradicts previous research that says the opposite of the first study, the study claimed today. Oxford University found that everything you eat, drink, smell and touch can put you at a much higher risk of getting the… Read more »

Moon Drunk

IRISH ASTRONOMERS have warned today that the moon is totally drunk and facing the wrong way around. People are being asked not to stare at the moon as it doesn’t like that kind of thing at all. Earths only satellite showed up twisted in the sky at around 6pm this afternoon, after it was suspected… Read more »

Teenager Catches Her Death In That Thing

Tragedy has struck a close knit community in the capital yesterday following the death of 16-year-old student Clara Hegarty. WWN has learned that Clara, from the leafy Dublin suburb of Stillorgan, defied her father’s instruction not to wear ‘that thing’ for fear that she would catch her death. The transition year student was later found… Read more »

Feng Shui Makeover In City Centre Smack Den ‘A Big Hit’ With The Addicts

ANGELIC, enchanting and pulchritudinous were just some of the words used by user Martin ‘Nailers’ Johnson when he described the new €7.34 makeover. Nailers has revealed that he consulted with a well known Chinese feng shui expert before rearranging the ‘spent’ residence, tilting the scarface poster several degrees and setting up a ‘no smoke zone’… Read more »