Man Upgrades Fart From Good Arse To Great Arse

CLOSE analysis of an epic anal air expulsion has moved a Tiperary man to declare it a “great arse” as opposed to just a good one.

Martin Byrne was socialising with his friends in a quiet pub in his hometown of Clonmel when he felt the urge to pass wind. Being in the company of his close acquaintances, Byrne felt no need to be discreet, opting instead to raise one buttock less than an inch off the seat and just let rip.

The resulting noise was met with a chorus of protests by Byrne’s fellow drinkers, who declared it to be “pure rotten” despite it not smelling that bad.

“I knew it was going to be something else because I’d been drinking Guinness and eating crisps all afternoon, ” said Byrne, speaking about the parp which registered 6 on the Gickter scale.

“So I was prepared to label it a good arse… but after it hit I had to declare it a great arse, and I think despite their complaining, my friends would agree with me”.

Friends of Byrne’s who were with him at the time agreed that it was in fact one of the better arses dealt in recent times, and attempts by some to better it as the night went on proved to be useless.