Company Stage UFC Tournament To Decide Which Staff Members Get Holidays They Want


AN Irish accountancy firm has decided to solve the problem of staff holiday scheduling with a full-contact mixed martial arts tournament set to begin next week.

Scheduling Summer holidays creates frequent headaches for management of businesses across the country as staff members apply for days which overlap each other, leaving the firm short-staffed.

Sought-after dates during the peak holiday season from May to September are fiercely fought over, as staff who have children claimed it’s their right to take this time off as they can only go away while their kids are off school, while single workers argue that this is total bullshit.

Other employees have been known to book flights before submitting applications, before arguing that “there’s nothing they can do about it now”.

The HR department at Hanlon & O’Connell Accountancy had exhausted every other option when it came to making sure that staff members got the Summer holidays they wanted, before settling on a brutal UFC-style competition as a last resort.

“Two members of staff shall enter the Octagon.” said Ciaran Moran, head of HR in the Dublin firm. “Only one shall exit with the last week in May.”

“We’re talking teeth-rattling, bone-breaking combat here folks; if you want that fortnight off in August to go to Santa Ponza with your mates, then you’re gonna have to crack some fucking skulls to get it”.

The first contest is scheduled for this weekend, where two women from the IT department go head to head to see who gets the much sought-after June bank holiday off.