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Dodgy E’s To Be Made Available On Medical Card In Bid To Reduce Unemployment
A BATCH of dodgy ecstasy tablets are to be made available on the medical card in a bid to reduce ... -
Mandella To ‘Hang Around’ For Final Season Of Breaking Bad, Say Relatives
FAMILY MEMBERS of former south African president, Nelson Mandela, have said the 94-year-old will ‘hang around’ for the final season ... -
Scientists Discover ‘The Hokey Pokey’ Is What It’s All About
SCIENTISTS in Trinity College Dublin have concluded yesterday that ‘The Hokey Pokey’ is actually what its all about, after discovering ... -
‘Too Cold To Leave Warm Bed To Take Pee’, Confirms Hungover Waterford Man
A HUNGOVER Waterford man said today that it is ‘too cold to leave his warm bed to take a pee’, ... -
Santa Shot Down Inside Syrian Airspace
U.S. INTELLIGENCE has confirmed this evening that Santa Claus was shot down at 16:09 GMT by by Syrian forces while ... -
92 Year Old Dublin Man Recalls First Ever Arthurs Day back In 2009
THE YEAR 2009 was a time when millions of people around the world celebrated the 250th anniversary of the Guinness brewing ... -
Fears Grow As Half A Million Irish Hold Violent Protest In Capital Over Bacon Shortage
UP TO 500,000 angry Irish citizens took to the streets of Dublin today in protest of a possible bacon shortage ... -
Taoiseach Defends James Reilly €562bn Death Star For North Dublin Constituency
TAOISEACH Enda Kenny has heavily defended Health Minister Dr James Reilly’s decision to construct a 562 billion euro Death Star for his North ... -
US Firm To Create Fuck All Jobs In Waterford Over Next Five Years
A WORLD-leading electronics manufacturer is to create fuck all jobs in Waterford over the next five years, it announced today. The company, which ... -
“We Just Couldn’t Be Arsed Anymore” Admits Government
THE Irish Government admitted at a press conference in Dublin today that it ‘just couldn’t be arsed’ trying to negotiate EU bail ...