Dodgy E’s To Be Made Available On Medical Card In Bid To Reduce Unemployment

A BATCH of dodgy ecstasy tablets are to be made available on the medical card in a bid to reduce unemployment figures, a government think tank said today.

The tablet, which has a crown imprint and contains a range of toxic chemicals, is expected to be made available over the counter later this month.

“We have seen a direct link in the reduction of claimants who use the drug.” said minister for unemployment Joan Burton. “The pill will cut unemployment figures in half by 2015.”

In recent clinical trials, 67% of people who took the drug signed off the live register within the first week.

“The results speak for themselves.” added Ms. Bruton.

The high-strength form of ecstasy will come in packs of six at a cost of €1.50 to those who hold a medical card.

It will be made available over the counter and without prescription.

Experts believe a large reduction in 18-30 year old’s claiming social welfare is expected in the coming months, an age group that currently dominates the live register.