Long-Term Unemployed Woman Delighted To Have ‘Recession’ Excuse Again

LONG-TERM unemployed woman Geraldine Murphy said she was absolutely delighted Ireland had slipped back into recession again this week, stating that the social welfare department can now finally ‘get off her back’  to look for work.

The 24-year-old council estate resident said she was ‘in and dated’ with letters looking for proof of job seeking from her local ‘dole office’.

“They can go fuck themselves with der job applications.” she said. “We’re in recession now again, so there’s no excuse for this carry on.”

“I was in the other day and your wan was all stuck up behind the counter asking me loads of questions about looking for work.””You’d swear it was her money she was giving away.” she added.

Ms. Murphy, who currently lives in Ballybeg, Waterford, left school in 2006 and has since been claiming social welfare benefits.

In 2010, aged only 21, she was forced by the department to apply for a six month FÁS course in how to close a door properly.”I just found it too difficult with all the tests and all…. so I quit after a month.”

Central statistic office figures suggest that 90% of long-term unemployed people are taking absolute piss when it comes to looking for a job.

“They just think they are too good to work in a shop or a fast food outlet.” said head researcher of the study. “Foreign people living here, who can’t get social welfare, are spoilt for choice when it comes to minimum wage jobs.”

“Us Irish are just too proud for that shit.”