‘Snowden Keeps Bumming Fags Off People’, Claim Russian Airport Officials

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MOSCOW AIRPORT officials have claimed today that whistle-blower, Edward Snowden, keeps ‘bumming fags’ off people, and it’s starting to become a little bit annoying now.

The former National Security Agency employee who exposed the US’ surveillance programmes, is said to be constantly harassing passengers travelling from the terminal area of Russia’s busiest airport.

“He’s relentless.” said airport security chief Paval Petrovich. “Edward just seems to pop out of nowhere when you go for a cigarette.””The minute you’d light up he calls ‘butt on that’, and asks for you not to ‘duck arse it’.” he added.

Snowden arrived in Moscow from Hong Kong last week, where he had been hiding for several weeks to evade US justice.

A Russian official has told WWN that Snowden, who is wanted in the US on espionage charges, will probably have to start working at the airport to earn his keep.

“He’s getting free use of the toilets, showers and has a roof over his head; he really needs to start pulling his weight around the airport.” she said. “We’re sick of him bumming fags and money out of staff and passengers.”

The thirty year old was spotted on numerous occasions in Sheremetyevo airports main terminal collecting cigarette butts from ashtrays and rolling them up.

“Its becoming shameful now.” said one passenger, who witnessed the Americans desperate behaviour. “He horses the fags down to the filter like a hobo, cupping it from the wind as if hiding it from fellow predators.”

Earlier, Russian president Vladimir Putin said that Snowden could stay in Russia permanently as long as he stopped scrounging off its citizens.

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