‘Too Cold To Leave Warm Bed To Take Pee’, Confirms Hungover Waterford Man


A HUNGOVER Waterford man said today that it is ‘too cold to leave his warm bed to take a pee’, and will hold on to his urine until he has no choice but to go.

Cormac Holden told WWN that his bathroom is probably absolutely freezing at the moment and would have to walk on the cold tiled floor in his bare feet.

“I just came straight in the door and went to bed last night, leaving my slippers down stairs in the sitting room,” said the 33-year-old, “I’m bursting to go, but if I turn on my side its not too bad”.

Mr. Holden thinks he will at get another good hour in bed before being forced to answer the call of nature.

“Its all about training your mind to think about something else,” he explained, “normally now I’d have an auld hand shandy in the morning, crack one off like, but judging how full I am I think it would be a bad idea”.

The free-lance playstation gamer believes he last took a pee at 1am this morning before leaving his local bar.

Sources say Mr. Holden then went to the chipper, where he bought three battered sausages, a garlic cheese chip and a bottle of coke.

Owner of the take away restaurant, Tony Bologna, said the Coca Cola may be to blame for the Cormac’s current state of affairs: “Coke is just like coffee – it goes right through you, and if you drink it before going to bed drunk you could be left with a very full bladder in the morning”.

Experts believe the current temperature in Mr. Holdens bed is just over 28 degrees at the moment, compared to the bitterly cold -25 degrees in the bathroom.

“That kind of temperature drop could kill a man in my state. I think I’ll invest in a bedpan during the week,” a very restless Mr. Holden concluded.