Tag: america

Get A Load Of This Cunt

IN A series of tweets which will invigorate his supporters who respond positively to his universal message of hating people who aren’t white, notorious thunder-cunt Donald Trump has again dragged American politics and its discourse to depths where only oddly translucent blob fish in the Mariana Trench have dared to plunge before. “Get a load… Read more »

Rest Of World Removes 4th Of July From Calendars

IN A BID to save themselves the indignity of being exposed to over the top, odious and misguided displays of pseudo patriotism, the rest of world has come together to remove the 4th of July from their calendars. While in America the current White House administration will oversee a gaudy and lurid celebration of their… Read more »

America Doing Concentration Camps For Kids Now

IN A BID to clear up any confusion relating to the rounding up and imprisoning of refugee and immigrant children without trial, often separated from their families for indefinite periods of time, America has confirmed that ‘yup, we’re doing concentration camps now’. While some well meaning individuals have flooded comment sections of American news publications… Read more »

Revealed: Donald Trump’s ‘Type’

PRESIDENT Donald Trump has responded to the latest allegations of sexual assault by stating in very frank terms that his accuser ‘is not his type’ when it comes to sexual assault, which seems to us to be a pretty watertight defence against claims of impropriety. But if E. Jean Carroll, or indeed any of the… Read more »

US Military Suffering From Chronic Case Of Blue Balls

MEDICAL professionals are concerned for the US military which is reportedly suffering from a chronic case of blue balls, owing to the fact they can’t remember the last time ground troops were allowed to empty themselves out all over the territory of a sovereign nation. “It’s worse than I could have ever managed,” explained Dr…. Read more »

Mueller Report Redacted Using Crayon

THE IMPENDING publication, by the US Department of Justice, of a redacted version of the Mueller Report has been welcomed by some Democrats, while others have expressed their concern over what exactly is being presented to the American people. “An advanced copy has been made available to me by the president, but my suspicions of… Read more »

Everything You Need To Know About Beto O’Rourke

THE TEXAS democrat narrowly lost to Ted Cruz in a race for the US Senate and has now announced his bid to secure the Democratic nomination for the 2020 presidential election. A father-of-three with a penchant for delivering uplifting and impassioned speeches drawing comparisons to Barack Obama, here’s everything you need to know about Beto… Read more »