Tag: america

All Future Wars To Be Carried Out In Syria

SOME of the world’s leading organisations, including NATO and the UN, have today agreed to proxy all future wars through the middle eastern state of Syria, paving the way for countries to finalise their disagreements with minimal collateral damage in their own territories. The new ruling will allow warring nations to set up 20 military bases each across the Syrian state, with the… Read more »

Stormy Daniels Upgraded To Hurricaney Daniels

ADULT superstar Stormy Daniels is reportedly continuing to pick up strength as she travels through the upper levels of the American political system, with fears growing among the Trump administration that she may shortly be upgraded to Hurricaney Daniels. Originally classified as Stormy in 2006 when she allegedly had a torrid affair with Donald Trump… Read more »

300 Million American Gun Owners Stood By And Did Nothing To Stop Florida Shooting, Finds Report

A RECENTLY published report into the latest school shooting in Florida has found as many as 300,000,000 registered gun owners in America did absolutely nothing to stop a former student fatally shooting 17 people at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, WWN can confirm. A week after one of the deadliest mass shootings in modern… Read more »

Trump Note Includes Instructions To Not Grab Any Pussies

CLOSER inspection of a note spotted in the hands of President Donald Trump at a discussion about the Parkland school shooting has revealed a number of notes and guidelines seemingly written by POTUS himself, including ‘don’t mention grabbing pussies’, ‘try steer things back to the stock market’, and ‘blame violence on Schwartchennegger [sic] movies’. As he… Read more »

Guns To Phase Out Americans By 2050

A DISTURBING REPORT issued by the International Centre For Research (ICFR) has estimated that guns are on course to phase out Americans by 2050, WWN has learned. With the number of people suffering horrific and violent gun deaths in America exceeding 33,000 per year, it is believed when this harrowing statistic is combined with an… Read more »