Tag: america

Governor Who Covered Up Covid Deaths In Nursing Homes Resigns Over Sexual Harassment

AFTER EXHAUSTING all avenues before him including ‘they’re lying bitches’, ‘I have daughters, how could I be a creep?’ and ‘the Gummy Venus Demilo defence’, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo resigned in disgrace, surprising many who thought it would have been the covering up nursing home deaths thing that would do it for him. “Don’t… Read more »

Donald Rumsfeld Is In Heaven, Insists CIA Report

DESPITE little to no evidence that such a thing is possible, leading figures within the CIA have insisted that former secretary of defence Donald Rumsfeld is currently in heaven following his permanent neutralisation at the age of 88. Mr. Rumsfeld, who always claimed to have created a ‘more stable and secure world’ by invading Iraq… Read more »

Obama Dog Bo Dumped In Ocean, As Is Tradition

FORMER President Barack Obama has apologised to his family for ordering the body of their dearly departed White House dog Bo to be dumped in the Arabian sea, claiming it was a ‘force of habit’. “That’s my bad, I was acting in accordance with Doggy Law” said Obama, after telling his family that their beloved… Read more »

Strong Winds Expected As America Exhales

WEATHER warnings have been issued across America amid reports of tornadoes, typhoons and tropical storms that have emerged following the conclusion of the Derek Chauvin trial, which resulted in millions of people simultaneously breathing out a huge sigh of relief. “When the guilty verdict on all three counts was read out, the exhalation was not… Read more »