Trump Threw Lunch At Wall On Jan 6th LOL, Also Plotted Coup


FORMER White House aide Cassidy Hutchinson hilariously detailed how meme-a-minute Donald Trump angrily threw his lunch at a wall when then Attorney General Bill Barr refused to help orchestrate a coup, in an incident perfect for clickbait media coverage.

In another chuckle-worthy instance from the day which saw 150 people injured Trump demanded his armed supporters be allowed bypass security checks as some called for Mike Pence to be hanged.

“It’s hilarious you see because five police officers were so traumatised from the attack that they’ve since committed suicide. What a card that Trump was and remains to do this day, you should see my ’10 Twitter burns you don’t want to miss’,” confirmed one journalist leaning heavy into the shallow reporting that got America a Trump presidency in the first place.

Hutchinson was giving evidence under oath as part of the latest day of hearings into the January 6th Capitol Hill riot which saw former president Donald Trump vindicated due to the fact he was only implicated in 3,487 separate instances of treason, including plotting to send fake electors to the Electoral College.

More hilarity ensued on the day in question when Trump also grabbed at the steering wheel of his Secret Service driven vehicle probably mistaking it for pussy, in a slapstick moment of clickbait worthy journalism which many publications think deserves more focus than the substance of testimony laying bare Trump’s criminality.

Elsewhere, polling confirms the ‘let’s destroy American democracy and illegally overturn an election result’ guy remains favourite to be the next president.

“Buddy, what can I tell you? We don’t trust women to be in control of their own bodies so what makes you think we’re going to believe one when they suggest Trump might be an unhinged meglomaniac almost-dictator?” confirmed a worrying number of Americans.