Tag: america

The Trump Guide To Handling A Pandemic

THANKS to president Donald Trump America has moved from a status ‘this is a non-existent problem made up by the evil leftie socialists to scare the stock market’ two weeks ago to ‘here’s how to decide which child to eat first when you run out of food’ today. Any world leader looking to replicate the… Read more »

Trump Hails ‘Positive’ Talks With Covid-19

EMERGING from a fresh meeting, a pale US president Donald Trump coughed and spluttered his way through the welcome news the entire world was waiting for; given the opportunity to simply sit down and talk with the Covid-19 strain of coronavirus, an agreement with the virus to simply voluntarily cease spreading could be achieved. “I… Read more »

Biden On Course To Lose To Trump In 2020 Election

RAISING A TRIUMPHANT fist in the air to loud cheers from supporters following his victorious sweep of ‘Super Tuesday’, former vice-president Joe Biden said he was humbled by the Democratic party members’ faith in his ability to “lose comprehensively in a depressingly predictable manner to Donald Trump in the November 2020 Presidential Election”. A roaring… Read more »

Everything You Need To Know About Joe Biden

THE Former vice-president of America and senator Joe Biden has seen his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination receive a lift after winning the Democratic primary in South Carolina. Here’s everything you need to know about 77-year-old Biden: Earned the nickname ‘The White Obama’ from himself. Has a long and storied career in the senate,… Read more »

Trump Posthumously Pardons Jeffrey Epstein

THE PRESIDENTIAL pardons recently put in motion by Donald Trump continue apace with his most high profile pardon now extending to deceased old acquaintance and notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. Not content with releasing some swamp monsters back into an undrained swamp by pardoning a corrupt politician guilty of trying to sell a Senate seat… Read more »

Statue Of Liberty Last Seen Walking Back To France

EYE WITNESSES in New York described unbelievable scenes earlier today as the sound of creaking copper and crumbling concrete preceded the sight of the iconic Statue of Liberty disembarking its pedestal eastwards for its native France. Tossing its iconic torch over its shadow and muttering loudly in French while looking angry and fed up, the… Read more »

“Eat Shit Palestine” Middle East Peacemaker Kushner Offers Olive Branch To Palestinians

PRESIDENT DONALD Trump’s son-in-law and somehow in charge of being Middle East peacemaker, Jared Kushner, has been hailed the world over for his incredible proposals aimed at bringing Israel and Israel together in agreement over Palestine. “Eat shit Palestine, you empty headed terrorists will accept this deal or else,” explained Kushner, who is two children… Read more »