Tag: america

Everything You Need To Know About Mitch McConnell

A REPUBLICAN politician of significant influence, Mitch McConnell is seen by many as the person most responsible for the lack of gun reform laws, an enabler of President Trump’s thinly veiled racist policies and the driving force behind increased divisiveness in US politics. Here’s everything you need to know about the 77-year-old Kentucky senator: Longest… Read more »

America Declared A Warzone

NATO have announced that the United States Of America is now officially an active warzone, after finally clocking up enough violent attacks, senseless killings and active combatants to qualify. America made the leap from “rough in places” to “dodgy enough” several years ago following the popularisation of mass shootings among the gun-wielding population, and has… Read more »

Get A Load Of This Cunt

IN A series of tweets which will invigorate his supporters who respond positively to his universal message of hating people who aren’t white, notorious thunder-cunt Donald Trump has again dragged American politics and its discourse to depths where only oddly translucent blob fish in the Mariana Trench have dared to plunge before. “Get a load… Read more »

Rest Of World Removes 4th Of July From Calendars

IN A BID to save themselves the indignity of being exposed to over the top, odious and misguided displays of pseudo patriotism, the rest of world has come together to remove the 4th of July from their calendars. While in America the current White House administration will oversee a gaudy and lurid celebration of their… Read more »

America Doing Concentration Camps For Kids Now

IN A BID to clear up any confusion relating to the rounding up and imprisoning of refugee and immigrant children without trial, often separated from their families for indefinite periods of time, America has confirmed that ‘yup, we’re doing concentration camps now’. While some well meaning individuals have flooded comment sections of American news publications… Read more »

Revealed: Donald Trump’s ‘Type’

PRESIDENT Donald Trump has responded to the latest allegations of sexual assault by stating in very frank terms that his accuser ‘is not his type’ when it comes to sexual assault, which seems to us to be a pretty watertight defence against claims of impropriety. But if E. Jean Carroll, or indeed any of the… Read more »

US Military Suffering From Chronic Case Of Blue Balls

MEDICAL professionals are concerned for the US military which is reportedly suffering from a chronic case of blue balls, owing to the fact they can’t remember the last time ground troops were allowed to empty themselves out all over the territory of a sovereign nation. “It’s worse than I could have ever managed,” explained Dr…. Read more »