US Republicans Willing To Compromise On Abortion By Gun

SPARKING protests across the country after the US Supreme Court’s landmark ruling overturning Roe v Wade ended the constitutional right to abortion in America, Republicans have promised to look into a new ‘abortion by gun’ scheme as an alternative solution, fitting in line with the party’s stance on protection of life after a child is born, WWN has learned.

“Obviously, we’re only interested in saving foetuses in the womb, children in schools – not so much,” a spokesman for the party stated, “however, we’re big advocates of guns and if the life of a pregnant mother does need protecting from medical complications, then we believe using bullets to abort the unborn foetus could be a humane option and something our God would agree with”.

The pro-life, pro-gun, pro-Christian party added that they would definitely test out their abortion by gun concept on African American and Hispanic mothers only, citing no real reasoning for the racial choice, apart from just blatantly being racist in nature.

“Let’s not beat around the George Bush here, we’re absolutely one hundred percent pro-white and if this avenue boosts our numbers and voters in the US then we will show no shame in instigating abortion by guns for all our ‘citizens’ of a darker persuasion,” the spokesman added, making sure to make air quotes on the word citizens.

Meanwhile, Republicans have asked fellow white women protesting the new ruling if they could make their way back to their kitchens, please, as men have a lot of big important work to do in order to overturn the 13th amendment.