Category: POLITICS

Local Lad Always Off His Face On Pills

AFTER finally reaching out to his GP in a bid to confront the anxiety and depression that has dragged him down for as long as he can remember, local man Cillian O’Hearne now spends his days on a range of hastily-prescribed medication which may be helping or may not, time will tell. 28-year-old O’Hearne assured WWN… Read more »

But Waterford Mother Heard Story About How Everyone Will Be Getting Abortions

A LOCAL Waterford mother has countered her daughter’s pleas for her to vote to repeal the 8th amendment in the upcoming referendum with the fact that she had heard somewhere a story about how everyone would be getting abortions. 67-year-old Caroline Lawther had explained to her daughter, Jessica, that she heard a person interviewed on… Read more »

Hundreds Of Thousands Camp Out Overnight For WWN Live Show Tickets

HUNDREDS of thousands of news fans braved cold temperatures overnight to secure their tickets for what is expected to be the greatest and most intelligent live stage show of the world has ever seen. Queues spanning up to four kilometers began building outside Ticketmaster outlets across the country from last week, with desperate fans setting up their camping gear… Read more »

Horny Little Minx McDonald Slams Sexist Article

SULTRY Sinn Féin siren and lady politician Mary ‘Swit Swoo’ McDonald has playfully admonished a seemingly sexist article which referred to her womanly ability to be a woman in the crazy man’s world of politics. Dominated by non-sexy woman bodies otherwise known as men, the field of politics requires that female politicians have a certain… Read more »

Group That Sold Babies Critical Of People’s Decision To Vote ‘Yes’

A GROUP which turned living, breathing children into an economic commodity by deriving profit from the illegal sale of actual children to couples in America has criticised people’s decision to vote ‘Yes’ in the upcoming referendum, with one Bishop declaring it ‘morally wrong’. The Catholic Church, which have stated it is ‘morally wrong’ to vote… Read more »