Category: POLITICS

Government ‘Confident’ It Has No Confidence In Itself

THE Government has today tabled a motion of no confidence in itself following the fallout from a scandal related to former Garda whistleblower Maurice McCabe, WWN can reveal. Speaking outside Leinster House, Taoiseach Enda Kenny confirmed to reporters that his government is 100% unsure of itself, and hasn’t a ‘fecking clue’ what to do now following a series of… Read more »

“Don’t Worry, Your Voters Will Soon Get Used To You Letting Them Down” Martin Assures Donnelly

IN A bid to quell an online horde that is currently eviscerating Wicklow TD Stephen Donnelly, Fianna Fail leader Micheál Martin offered up some reassurance, stating that the new deputy’s voters will soon ‘get used to being let down’. Speaking in a party meeting this morning – the first for the newly appointed Brexit spokesman –… Read more »

Donnelly Stoned Or Something

FOUNDER of the Social Democrats and Wicklow TD Stephen Donnelly is believed to be high on something after stating today that he is to join Fianna Fail, despite previously saying he would not join any established political party. This morning Fianna Fail TDs were told of Mr Donnelly’s recruitment at a meeting in Leinster House, where he underwent the… Read more »

‘You’re Fucking Welcome’, Europe Tells Ireland After €13bn Apple Tax Ruling

EUROPEAN Commissioner for Competition, Margrethe Vestager, who investigated Apple’s European tax affairs has insisted that the vast majority of the company’s €13bn in unpaid tax is due to Ireland, telling the Oireachtas Finance Committee ‘you’re fucking welcome’. Ms Vestager told the hearing it would be up to Ireland as a member state to “stop dragging… Read more »

‘Good Fucking Riddance’: EU Welcomes May Speech

THE European Union has welcomed today’s speech by Theresa May, stating it was happy the British prime minister finally got her finger out. President of the European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker congratulated Mrs. May for her lengthy speech, which outlined 12 priorities for negotiations with the EU, and confirmed her government’s intention to leave the European… Read more »