Category: POLITICS

Garda Whistleblower Tribunal Confirms Callinan’s Pension Still Nice & Safe

A REPORT into the treatment of Garda whistleblowers by senior Garda has vindicated whistleblower Garda Maurice McCabe while pointing to a conspiracy by former Commissioner Marton Callinan and Garda press officer Dave Taylor to denigrate and tarnish the officer’s reputation all because McCabe was attempting to expose corruption within the force. The exemplary work and… Read more »

Guide To Publicly Embarrassing Yourself As An Irish Presidential Candidate

WHILE the Irish public is scrambling around desperately to shield the outside world from all evidence that an embarrassing charade of a presidential election is still ongoing, WWN has gathered together a guide to help budding embarrassments in their quest to publicly humiliate themselves. Despite the fact that the Irish public will deny all knowledge… Read more »

Local Man Would Be Better Off On The Dole

WATERFORD store manager Manus Whelan has spent the morning bitterly complaining how he would be better off on social welfare, following a Budget 2019 dole increase of five whole euro. Whelan hasn’t stopped grousing since Finance Minister Paschal Donohoe’s announcement yesterday that cuts to the USC will result in the average worker benefiting by 4… Read more »

Government Advises Low Income Earners To Just Become Landlord TDs

AFTER a stunning unveiling of Budget 2019, the government has confirmed that anyone feeling a bit shortchanged by the spending measures outlined should really seriously consider becoming a multi-property owning TD. “Think of all the tax relief. You might be griping about how the budget doesn’t exactly seem fiscally responsible either, spending wise, but our… Read more »

“This Is Not An Election Budget” Confirms Taoiseach Day Before Election Budget

TAOISEACH LEO Varadkar has rubbished claims that tomorrow Budget 2019 is an election budget, WWN can confirm. Speaking while handing out ‘Vote Fine Gael’ leaflets at a Dart station in Dublin, the Taoiseach confirmed the budget was merely a sensible and prudent budget that was definitely not full of carrots being dangled before the electorate…. Read more »

Boris Johnson Got Dressed All By Himself This Morning

DIVISIVE TORY politician Boris Johnson is now the overwhelming favourite to usurp British PM Theresa May after it was revealed Johnson expertly got dressed all by himself without any help from anyone else, WWN can reveal. Pictured yesterday jogging in a field of wheat, Johnson’s pairing of a zip fleece and patterned shorts led many… Read more »