Category: POLITICS

The Latest Brexit Developments Explained

A LATE NIGHT press conference, a second UK parliament vote on May’s Brexit Deal and the UK Attorney General tweeting the word “bollocks” marks yet another mundane and stultifyingly boring day in Brexitland. Here’s everything you need to know, what exactly it all means and why you’ll regret ever reading up on the clusterfuckery: The… Read more »

Israeli War Crimes < Eurovision

RTÉ have urged the country not to bother looking into the litany of atrocities carried out by the Israeli government against the people of Palestine between now and the Eurovision Song Contest in Tel Aviv on May 16th, as they may dampen the nation’s enthusiasm for catchy tunes and a dazzling stage show. The statement… Read more »

Bloody Sunday Downgraded To ‘Dignified & Appropriate Sunday’

THE Conservative Party has succeeded in their motion to rename the 1972 massacre in Derry, formerly known as ‘Bloody Sunday’, following a party-wide agreement that Northern Secretary Karen Bradley’s ‘dignified and appropriate’ remark in the Commons yesterday has ‘a nice ring to it’. Although the 12-year Saville Inquiry found that the murders on that fateful… Read more »

New Drink Driving Lanes Proposed In Ireland

A NEW bill which will allocate a dedicated drink driving lane on all primary and secondary roads around the country is expected to be passed in the Dáil tomorrow afternoon, WWN can confirm. The segregated lane will feature sophisticated crash barriers that absorb high speed impacts, allowing intoxicated motorists willing to take their own lives into their hands to drive separately from sober lanes without… Read more »