Von Der Leyen Shows Full Support For Israel By Leading Gaza Bombing Mission


HEAD OF THE European Commission Ursual von der Leyen is facing further claims that she is overstepping the remit of her office in her expressions of unequivocal EU support for Israel and its actions, this time manning a fighter jet which is reigning down bombs on Gaza.

Leading with a no-nonsense thumbs up and a calm but firm ‘Israel has the right to defend itself’ von der Leyen climbed into the cock pit of an Israeli F-16 fighter jet in a move that could yet again frustrate EU leaders and officials who have reminded the German politician that she does not speak for the EU on foreign policy matters.

“She can offer Israel the EU’s unconditional support for any breach of international law in much the same way a banana can teach a hippo to fly,” actual EU foreign policy chief Josep Borrel stated, “EU foreign policy is an inter-governmental decision, she’s overstepped the mark like… hmmm, can I think of a good example, eh, oh like a country cutting off power, water and fuel while bombing civilian targets”.

Seemingly unable to break her current streak of speaking on behalf of others in matters she has no authority over, von der Leyen has said that Taylor Swift must end her relationship with NFL player Travis Kelce, she has cast Idris Elba as the next James Bond and confirmed that Longford native Eileen Neary’s kitchen is getting an overdue remodeling whether she likes it or not.

“Oops, was that a hospital,” confirmed von der Leyen as she raced through the skies over Gaza.