Category: POLITICS

UK’s New Immigration Points System Revealed

AN AUSTRALIAN style ‘points based system’ for immigration is set to be implemented in a post-Brexit Britain, Boris Johnson’s government has revealed. Far from being a worryingly predictable development that could see a dramatic shortage in so-called low-skilled workers, such as nurses and carers, that could serve as a sucker punch to a beleaguered economy,… Read more »

“Here’s Leo”

WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »

Labour Party Put Ad In Paper For Grave Digger

FOLLOWING on from Brendan Howlin’s resignation as party leader the Labour party have wasted no time in finding a suitable successor and will now seek to appoint a grave digger to finish off the job believed to have been initially undertaken in 2011. “We need someone with the relevant experience to ensure this hole we’ve… Read more »

McDonald Dons Hazmat Suit To Avoid Contracting Fiannafáilvirus During Negotiations

TAKING EVERY necessary precaution during nascent government coalition talks with Fianna Fáil, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald is currently being placed in a highly secure hazmat suit, to give her a fighting chance against catching the devastating Fiannafáilvirus. Such is the panic and paranoia around the all-consuming infection, the phone with which McDonald used… Read more »

Unified Ireland: The Big Questions

ALTHOUGH a new government has yet to be formed from the aftermath of GE2020, a freshly-invigorated and triumphant Sinn Féin have already begun to lay the groundwork for a Unity Referendum; an all-island poll to gauge the desire to finally reunite Northern Ireland with the Republic, a question that has been brewing in the four… Read more »

WWN Looks At All The Possible Coalition Options

AS IS TRADITION now in Irish elections none of the the biggest parties are anywhere close to having enough seats to rule on their own, so the Irish public will watching closely as parties begin negotiations over potential coalition formations. How do the numbers work and what realistic combinations gets the country closest to a… Read more »