Category: POLITICS

Frontline Bank Holiday Reduced To Bank Lunch Break

CONFUSED as how it turned a new bank holiday into national clusterfuck that made people angry, the government cicrculated yet more unconfirmed leaks around the proposed holiday for frontline workers, WWN can confirm. “We’re looking at Saint Bridget’s Day, possibly Patrick’s day, who knows what we’re at?” a source neither denied or confirmed, “basically we’re… Read more »

Ticketing System Introduced For Nightclubs To Be Extended To Baggot Street Basement Orgies

WHILE ADMITTING it appears from the outside to be a complete shambles of a system that will have no material effect on Covid prevention, the government confirmed its ticketing system for nightclubs will be extended to Baggot Street basement orgies. “Remember that story? Gas wasn’t it. People emerging from a basement on Baggot Street in… Read more »

Free Advertising Given To Serial Liar & Con Man

THE MEDIA sales department of national broadcaster RTÉ has been criticised for failing to charge Nigel Farage for the lucrative free advertising he was given on Claire Byrne Live last night. “Look,” explained one member of the beleaguered accounts department, “I don’t have problem if we give an audience of hundreds of thousands over to… Read more »

Just Once Could You Tell Us To Our Faces & Not Leak It To The Media, Nation Asks Government

THE NATION has confirmed it’s not too much to ask of the government, for once in its porous Swiss cheese leaking existence, to directly inform individuals, communities, businesses and healthcare professionals via official government channels of changes to restrictions in a timely manner rather than slyly drip feeding it out through the media. “We’ve given… Read more »

Donegal Told They Can Have Train Or 100% Redress, Not Both

MICA-struck homeowners in the north west have been told that there’s a certain amount of ‘Donegal Dosh’ in the kitty for either the rebuilding of their homes or the construction of a new rail corridor, whichever they prefer. “It’s either, not both” declared a spokesperson for the Department of Housing, flanked by a nodding mouthpiece… Read more »

“Unfortunately Our 1st World Vaccine Programme Is No Match For Our 4th World Health Service”

LAMENTING the fact Ireland possessing the world’s only 4th World health service is jeopardising an end to restrictions on the 22nd of October, the Taoiseach urged the 90% of the population that is vaccinated to blame those not vaccinated for decades of ineptitude and shameless neglect of the health service by politicians. “There is a… Read more »