CONFUSED as how it turned a new bank holiday into national clusterfuck that made people angry, the government cicrculated yet more unconfirmed leaks around the proposed holiday for frontline workers, WWN can confirm. “We’re looking at Saint Bridget’s Day, possibly Patrick’s day, who knows what we’re at?” a source neither denied or confirmed, “basically we’re… Read more »
ANYONE who used the phrase ‘they’re not a real political party’ to beat Sinn Féin with had better reconsider their stance, as the party spectacularly voted for a motion to bin one of it’s core principles. “Usually a party will wait to get voted in before reneging on their beliefs, but SF seem to be… Read more »
WHILE ADMITTING it appears from the outside to be a complete shambles of a system that will have no material effect on Covid prevention, the government confirmed its ticketing system for nightclubs will be extended to Baggot Street basement orgies. “Remember that story? Gas wasn’t it. People emerging from a basement on Baggot Street in… Read more »
CREDIT where credit is due, the calm and collected response from many avid nationalists to the staging of an event marking the partition of Northern Ireland has allayed the fears of many who thought the process of a potential reunification would not be far from a utopian cakewalk. “Dirty west Brit scum politicians, we see… Read more »
NO legal action will be taken against those responsible for over a dozen deaths arising from a Waterford e-scooter jousting tournament, as there is no rule in law forbidding such activity, the government has admitted today. The deaths, which include kids as young as 11 and as old as 15, occurred during a contest to… Read more »
THE MEDIA sales department of national broadcaster RTÉ has been criticised for failing to charge Nigel Farage for the lucrative free advertising he was given on Claire Byrne Live last night. “Look,” explained one member of the beleaguered accounts department, “I don’t have problem if we give an audience of hundreds of thousands over to… Read more »
THE NATION has confirmed it’s not too much to ask of the government, for once in its porous Swiss cheese leaking existence, to directly inform individuals, communities, businesses and healthcare professionals via official government channels of changes to restrictions in a timely manner rather than slyly drip feeding it out through the media. “We’ve given… Read more »
MICA-struck homeowners in the north west have been told that there’s a certain amount of ‘Donegal Dosh’ in the kitty for either the rebuilding of their homes or the construction of a new rail corridor, whichever they prefer. “It’s either, not both” declared a spokesperson for the Department of Housing, flanked by a nodding mouthpiece… Read more »
DOZENS of EU diplomats have taken up smoking and many more are said to have lapsed into alcoholism, as the British Brexit negotiators continues to hammer thorn after thorn into their side with no end in sight. “I never smoked in my life but I’m up to two packs a day now” puffed one German… Read more »
LAMENTING the fact Ireland possessing the world’s only 4th World health service is jeopardising an end to restrictions on the 22nd of October, the Taoiseach urged the 90% of the population that is vaccinated to blame those not vaccinated for decades of ineptitude and shameless neglect of the health service by politicians. “There is a… Read more »