Category: POLITICS

“No, Haven’t Been Following The Hutch Trial, Why?”

A MEMBER of the Sinn Féin press office has entered Mary Lou McDonald’s office to ask if she has been following the latest evidence given in ongoing Regency shooting trial. “You haven’t been following it? Oh that’s great. No, no reason, just gah, you’know yourself. Murder trials; so boring, right haha? Honestly I wouldn’t even… Read more »

Fine Gael Ard Fheis Highlights

THE 2022 Fine Gael ard fheis took place in Westmeath and WWN gained exclusive access to the weekend’s festivities and speeches. Westmeath was chosen as a location for this year’s Ard Fheis because Dublin has too many homeless people who would have ruined group selfies by appearing in the background asking for change. Only 14,389… Read more »

“We’re Not Called The TaliBAN For Nothing Lolz” Taliban Defends Banning Women From Parks

“GUYS IT’S literally in the name,” explained a spokesman for the Taliban defending their decision to ban women from parks and funfairs in Kabul, which hasn’t drawn much condemnation because countries are busy with their own problems. The Taliban’s slow suffocation of women’s freedoms has been met with condemnation from a number of western nations… Read more »

Republicans Shocked Running Deranged Women Hating Candidates Not A Big Vote Getter

SENIOR US Republicans are scratching their heads after the party failed to match pre-election predictions of huge gains. “Slogans such as ‘we’ll make you carry your rapist’s baby even if you’re 13’ just didn’t connect with folks as we’d hoped, Dr Oz saying women need a politician’s permission for an abortion was our most liberal… Read more »

Man Felt Nothing Watching John Lewis Ad, Nothing

THE latest John Lewis Christmas advert has been met with tears, smiles and universal acclaim from everyone except Waterford man Owen Carroll who didn’t feel a flicker of emotion throughout. The commercial, which features a middle-aged man learning how to skateboard so that he can have something in common with the vulnerable child he and… Read more »