AN AUSTRALIAN style ‘points based system’ for immigration is set to be implemented in a post-Brexit Britain, Boris Johnson’s government has revealed. Far from being a worryingly predictable development that could see a dramatic shortage in so-called low-skilled workers, such as nurses and carers, that could serve as a sucker punch to a beleaguered economy,… Read more »
AS stop-start government formation talks between Irish political parties trudge on, the Irish nation has been seen fidgeting and tapping on its watch before reminding politicians it hasn’t got all fucking day. “We’ve shit to be doing, so are we governmenting or are we election 2.0-ing?” an irritated Irish public relayed to Sinn Féin, Fianna… Read more »
WITH the likelihood of a ‘grand coalition’ involving Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael increasing, some incensed Sinn Féin voters continue to labour under the misapprehension that 100% of the nation voted for Sinn Féin. Much in the same way Fine Gael voters in 2016 couldn’t understand why the 75% of the country that didn’t vote… Read more »
WITH all the elegance and grace of a paraplegic sloth on quaaludes, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar awoke from his post election slumber to tear down the door of the electorate’s consciousness in the hopes of forming some kind of government that no one particularly wants. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the… Read more »
AS A COUNTRY we may not be able to get our complex, nuanced and violent past out of our system, but that’s not to say we can’t all band together and agree to get one big ‘Sinn Féin is the IRA’ bashing session out of the way and then move on, allowing a more mature,… Read more »
FOLLOWING on from Brendan Howlin’s resignation as party leader the Labour party have wasted no time in finding a suitable successor and will now seek to appoint a grave digger to finish off the job believed to have been initially undertaken in 2011. “We need someone with the relevant experience to ensure this hole we’ve… Read more »
TAKING EVERY necessary precaution during nascent government coalition talks with Fianna Fáil, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald is currently being placed in a highly secure hazmat suit, to give her a fighting chance against catching the devastating Fiannafáilvirus. Such is the panic and paranoia around the all-consuming infection, the phone with which McDonald used… Read more »
IN lighter news, WWN brings you now to the United States of America, with the adorable story of a 78-year-old grandfather who has brought great cheer to a great number of people by claiming that he’s ‘going to be the next president’! Bernard ‘Bernie’ Sanders, now in the twilight of his years, has been a… Read more »
ALTHOUGH a new government has yet to be formed from the aftermath of GE2020, a freshly-invigorated and triumphant Sinn Féin have already begun to lay the groundwork for a Unity Referendum; an all-island poll to gauge the desire to finally reunite Northern Ireland with the Republic, a question that has been brewing in the four… Read more »
AS IS TRADITION now in Irish elections none of the the biggest parties are anywhere close to having enough seats to rule on their own, so the Irish public will watching closely as parties begin negotiations over potential coalition formations. How do the numbers work and what realistic combinations gets the country closest to a… Read more »