DESPITE his party’s misgivings and backward leaning ideologies, DUP leader Jeffrey Donaldson’s latest accusation that Sinn Féin are “pushing a radical all-Ireland agenda” may actually have some truth in it, WWN has learned. “As bad as they are, the DUP might be on to something here,” an anonymous source close to Sinn Féin exclusively revealed,… Read more »
BAD LUCK has seen Covid-19 greatly curb Taoiseach Micheál Martin’s American visit, with the Fianna Fáil man holed up in Blair House opposite The White House until his Covid-1 symptoms clear up prompting an outpouring of sympathy. However, questions are already being asked about the mammoth bill being racked up by Martin, who has taken… Read more »
JUST MOMENTS after Taoiseach Micheál Martin was diagnosed with covid-19 while in Washington for St Patrick’s events, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar was spotted frantically swimming for the American capital, WWN can confirm. Mr. Martin was due to meet with US President Joe Biden in the White House later today but has been since cancelled, however, a… Read more »
FRESH from continuing to donate Russian military tanks and trucks to Ukrainian farmers, Vladimir Putin has sought the help of Siri in an attempt to bail himself out of his scattershot invasion which has seen little ground gained. “Hey Siri, what’s Chinese for ‘I’ve fucked up, tanked my economy and it’s only a matter of… Read more »
TAOISEACH Micheál Martin is to open a discussion in the Dáil on the subject of Irish neutrality in the near future, once he can get Tánaiste Leo Varadkar to sit through the debate without tapping his foot on the ground like a cartoon squirrel at the thoughts of sending working class people off to war…. Read more »
BRITISH Prime Minister Boris Johnson has finally let the secret of his scandal-dodging success slip, after revealing that a lifetime of Yoga exercises has left him with the inner calm needed to navigate the countless political quagmires he’s found himself in. Dubbed ‘the Bullingdon stretches’ by Boris (as he believed the word ‘Yoga’ sounded too… Read more »
SEEN AS a direct retaliation to attempts by Dublin councillors to rename the road outside the Russian Embassy Independent Ukraine Road, workers in Moscow were seen erecting new streets signs in the early hours of this morning. “5 Charles Trevelyan Road has always been home to the Irish embassy, it was never 5 Grokholski Pereulok,”… Read more »
A GOVERNMENT that has presided over the defence forces earning the lowest wages across the civil service while overseeing the lowest defence spend in the EU as a percent of GDP has told the disgraceful Irish public it needs to fundamentally rethink security. “Honestly how can you lot look at yourselves in the mirror when… Read more »
RED-FACED Red Square officials are kicking themselves after their so-called ‘de-nazification’ of Ukraine accidentally spiraled into pre-planned war crimes and further escalation which would not unreasonably invite comparisons to an actual Nazi regime with a love for inhumanity, WWN can confirm. Embarrassed Kremlin officials are now broaching difficult subjects with their leader Vladimir Putin, for… Read more »
AFTER YEARS of steadfast campaigning by charities, advocates, former drug users and experts, the government recently delayed the citizens assembly on drugs to the specific date of ‘dunno when’, as clearly requested by the public, WWN can confirm. “And not only that, we’ve been overwhelmed by the loud calls for a referendum on neutrality so… Read more »