Government Ask The 1 In 5 Children Who Are Obese To Share Their Meals With 1 In 5 Children Living In Poverty

FOLLOWING the concerning publication of two studies which separately reveal that 1 in every 5 Irish children are living in poverty and 1 in 5 Irish kids are obese, the government has come up with a novel approach which also reduces the need for them to intervene in any meaningful way.

“You lot keep saying we have no solutions to the problems we’re presiding over, well… you can’t say that anymore,” explained a spokesperson for the government’s Department of Everything’s Fine. “And if you’re about to say something like ‘that’s not how nutrition, inequality or deprevation works’ don’t bother because we don’t understand statements like that”.

“Obviously we find this sort of data concerning, that in this day and age people try to measure something other than our glorious GDP and corp tax receipts is deeply concerning,” added a spokesperson for the Department of Ireland Isn’t The Only Country Affected By These Things So Why Even Try & Solve It.

The government confirmed they are taking a multi-department approach to finding a way to pin both concerning issues back on parents. Despite their best efforts, some memebers of the public think their call on obese children to share food is a step too far.

“Oh, spot the former fat kids! Jaysus, you’d swear we said ‘communism for fridges’, we don’t mean heavy set kids have to share ALL of their meals, just a little bit now and then, relax,” offered the government.

UPDATED: The relevant government ministers have belatedly agreed to, at the very least, re-share the next Late Late Show interview with an influencer who said they were a chubby kid but really love the gym now on social media.

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