Man Secures Permanent Safety Of Home After Setting Fire To Six Of His Neighbour’s Houses

AN ISRAELI man has confirmed that he can finally sleep at night knowing no harm will come to his home, after he attacked and set on fire a sixth home in recent months.

“I don’t make the rules, that’s just how it works. If you set enough houses on fire in your local estate, no one ever gets angry and thinks maybe the person who did all the setting on fire should have the same done to his house,” confirmed the man, Benjamin Netanyahu.

The 75-year-old man, who refuses to adhere to any estate-wide rules and never sought planning permission for much of his construction, has been forced to keep upgrading his home security system which is believed to be completely unrelated to the fire setting policy.

“The latest house I set fire to, the guys who own it were actually trying to help me solve a dispute with another neighbour, I suspect they will be perfectly content with my fire setting, can’t see any animosity building up,” confirmed Netanyahu, eying up another neighbour’s garden shed.

“I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking but aren’t people mad when you set their houses on fire and maybe they won’t forget you did it that, and will now always want to do the same to your house? But nah, I’m sure they’re super chill about it”.

A distant friend, from several neighbourhoods over, who recently received a free jet worth $400mn from the house Netanyahu just set on fire, is said to be annoyed by his actions.

“Ah, whatever, I don’t care. As long as Bibi is constantly setting fire to that one specific house over there again and again and again, I really don’t care – he can do what he wants. It’s not like constantly supporting and providing the fuel and matches could ever backfire on people living in my house,” shared Donald Trump.

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