McGregor Taps Out Under Doctor’s Advice As ‘Put On’ Accent Inducing Aneurysm

DOCTORS advising Conor McGregor to step away from the Irish presidential race have confirmed the court-star was developing a cerebral aneurysm brought on by ‘putting on a posh sounding accent and pushing his brain beyond its limits’.

“When the wiring isn’t there in the brain it just leads to complications, and there were only so many big words Conor could read from ChatGPT before causing even more irreparable damage to his brain, which, frankly, is already in the bits,” a spokesdoctor told WWN.

McGregor had been training with an elocution specialist for six months in a bid to come across less McGregory however, he is now expected to revert to his default accent; the one Irish people use when speaking to foreigners.

His camp denied his choice not to run had anything to do with rumours every candidate would be required to undergone doping tests.

“The constitution is old and outdated, my friend,” McGregor declared, over-enunciating every word like a 1980s wrestler high on Grade-A Colombian marching powder. He then warned the nation of his inevitable political comeback: “But let me tell you this, my brothers and sisters, Big Mac will be back… mark my words. Ohhh yeaaaaah!”

With only a dozen or so not-fit-for-purpose presidential candidates already biting at the bit to enter the race before the deadline, fears are growing that the Crumlin man may throw his weight behind yet another god-awful personality.

Meanwhile, Peter Casey has been very quiet lately.

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