Man Ends Homelessness, Poverty, Healthcare & Immigration Issues By Making Bomb Threats

A LOCAL PATRIOT has been hailed as a hero in his addled imagination for threatening to blow up a politician’s family, a constructive policy suggestion which is known to immediately solve every single major and minor issue affecting a country.

“I couldn’t believe it, I woke up today to no homelessness, I only wish I knew the names of these brave people threatening to blow up politicians and their families so I could thank them,” shared one person who is no longer poor, homeless, sick or an immigrant thanks to the bomb threats.

While the self-described hero’s identity remains unknown, WWN spoke with them earlier today.

“I was inspired by the woman last week who allegedly made a similar threat and then magically 14 new major rail and trams lines appeared overnight alongside three specialist hospitals, so I said I’ve got to give this craic a try ‘cus it really works, even better than actually bothering my hole to vote,” explained the man, who criticised people for volunteering in their community, advocating for others and being productive members of society when there was this far better and obvious tactic they could be partaking in.

“This is what our floundering farters fought for in the 1916 proclamations!” concluded the man.

However, others remain suspicious of the recent news, going as far as to suggest these threats have been entirely fabricated.

“This is just a distraction tactic by the MSM so that people don’t talk about the real issues the politicians are to blame for,” confirmed one man, who draws attention to the real issues by being incredibly racist online at every available opportunity.

Meanwhile, new garda commissioner Justin Kelly has yet to confirm if he will carry on Drew Harris’s inspired policing tactic of just leaving fringe far-right extremists to do what they like.

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