TRYING her best to sum up the intense, visceral disdain she has for US president Donald Trump, local woman Rebecca O’Brien confirmed she would rather give birth out her arsehole than ever look at that ‘obese oompa loompa prick’ again. With coverage of Trump on news stations increasing as the 2020 US election date draws… Read more »
THE October 15th ‘virtual debate’ between President Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Joe Biden has been called off after Trump refused to participate; but by using sophisticated AI, we’ve been able to create a near-flawless rendition of what would have went down. We forced a specially-programmed bot to consume hours of Trump’s 2016 debates and… Read more »
THE handful of White House staffers not yet infected by president Donald Trump expressed new worries about his condition shortly after he began conversing with the pulsating bulge of Covid-19 now emanating from his neck. “What’s of most worry really is that his condition has taken such a bad turn, the symptons now include talking… Read more »
“WHERE AM I? Why brain no sense?” president Donald Trump confirmed in his first address from the Oval Office since his stunning symbiosis with Covid-19, clearly showing no adverse affects from his brave battle with the ‘it’s basically the flu’ pandemic. Before the exceptional specimen of a man returned to his day job of ranting… Read more »
AMERICANS may have had a tough time with Covid-19 but they are are now facing their toughest challenge yet; keeping president Donald Trump safe and well as he battles the illness that has killed, in his eyes, 208,000 lesser men and women. Trump is currently undergoing treatment in Walter Reed Hospital, and sources close to… Read more »
IT’S the news that has rocked the world, US president Donald Trump, in the middle of a reelection campaign and weeks out from polling day, has tested positive for Covid-19. How did the conscientious leader, who has always stressed the importance of undermining health authorities and guidelines come to contract the virus which has cost… Read more »
UNABLE to stop itself from laughing, the world is celebrating successfully testing negative for sympathy following Donal Trump’s positive Covid-19 test result. “Hahahahaha,” continued the world, unable to control itself, apart from one goodie-two-shoes who refused to wish the leader a long, drawn out and painful recovery. Trump, the world’s leading source in Coronavirus misinformation… Read more »
REPORTING that they were experiencing the same loud ringing sound in their ears after sitting through all 90 minutes of the first 2020 Presidential Shouting Match, the American public have been unequivocally declared the real losers in all this. The very boring, run of the mill debate saw president Donald Trump instruct white supremacists to… Read more »
A CHAOTIC head to head in which, as ever, the sane portion of the American populus was the real loser. See our recap below for how the bitter debate between president Donald Trump and former vice-president Joe Biden played out: Waiting in the wings of the debate stage, Biden could be seen necking a tub… Read more »
HEALTH AUTHORITIES in the US state of Texas have issued a ‘disaster order’ after a brain eating amoeba, Naegleria fowleri, was found in the state’s water supply. Despite several reported deaths, supporters of US president Donald Trump have recorded zero ill effects when coming into contact with the brain eating amoeba and closer examination could… Read more »