PRESIDENT Donald Trump has reacted with horror to the news that a judge has ordered that interview transcripts from friend-to-the-billionaires Ghislaine Maxwell be made public, as he had been certain that it was no longer something that he had to worry about. Maxwell, ex-girlfriend of disgraced sex-offender and Trump buddy Jeffrey Epstein, had been expected… Read more »
WITH NEWS that US presidential debate organisers plan on muting candidates’ microphones whenever there’s an interruption, it has now been confirmed that the final debate will as a result take place entirely through the art form of mime. “We could sit here and pretend like Agent Orange isn’t going to just interrupt for 90 minutes… Read more »
THE decision by Twitter to delete thousands of fake accounts purporting to be black Trump supporters has not deterred the current US president from insisting that he has a huge following among the black community; even if the numbers point to five, maybe ten people tops. “It’s getting a little ‘Where’s Wally’ out there” said… Read more »
THE 48-YEAR-OLD judge is currently undergoing a grilling by the US Senate in her confirmation hearing for the US Supreme Court, here’s everything you need to know about Amy Coney Barrett: – Of strict Catholic faith and belonging to a conservative and clandestine religious group, believes life begins at point of ejaculation. – First time… Read more »
TRYING her best to sum up the intense, visceral disdain she has for US president Donald Trump, local woman Rebecca O’Brien confirmed she would rather give birth out her arsehole than ever look at that ‘obese oompa loompa prick’ again. With coverage of Trump on news stations increasing as the 2020 US election date draws… Read more »
THE October 15th ‘virtual debate’ between President Donald Trump and Democratic nominee Joe Biden has been called off after Trump refused to participate; but by using sophisticated AI, we’ve been able to create a near-flawless rendition of what would have went down. We forced a specially-programmed bot to consume hours of Trump’s 2016 debates and… Read more »
THE handful of White House staffers not yet infected by president Donald Trump expressed new worries about his condition shortly after he began conversing with the pulsating bulge of Covid-19 now emanating from his neck. “What’s of most worry really is that his condition has taken such a bad turn, the symptons now include talking… Read more »
“WHERE AM I? Why brain no sense?” president Donald Trump confirmed in his first address from the Oval Office since his stunning symbiosis with Covid-19, clearly showing no adverse affects from his brave battle with the ‘it’s basically the flu’ pandemic. Before the exceptional specimen of a man returned to his day job of ranting… Read more »
AMERICANS may have had a tough time with Covid-19 but they are are now facing their toughest challenge yet; keeping president Donald Trump safe and well as he battles the illness that has killed, in his eyes, 208,000 lesser men and women. Trump is currently undergoing treatment in Walter Reed Hospital, and sources close to… Read more »
IT’S the news that has rocked the world, US president Donald Trump, in the middle of a reelection campaign and weeks out from polling day, has tested positive for Covid-19. How did the conscientious leader, who has always stressed the importance of undermining health authorities and guidelines come to contract the virus which has cost… Read more »