Tag: family

“Your Uncle? Oh It Was Something To Do With Children, Did I Not Tell You?” Mother Casually Drops Into Conversation

VAGUELY recalling why you her brother hasn’t been seen nor heard for almost 25 years, local mother Glenda Campion confirmed to her daughter Emer that she definitely told her about it at the time, and this wasn’t some big secret suppressed for decades. “Ah, it wasn’t something of anything really. Sure, you remember anyway,” explained… Read more »

Emotional Parents Welcome Arrival Of Third iPad

WITH tears in their exhausted but elated eyes, Waterford couple Ciaran and Sharon Whallin have brought home a bright, bouncing new iPad weighing just under 500g to their kids, to add to the two tablets that they already have. “People say we’ll have our work cut out for us downloading apps and updating things, but… Read more »

Morto! This Kid’s Parents Are Still Together!

REPORTS circulating a Waterford community this afternoon has confirmed that some little loser still has both his biological parents living in the same house together like some kind of fully functional family, WWN has learned. Davey Lynch, (12), was branded a little freak by peers after slipping up and stating his parents were still together,… Read more »

Kid Takes ‘You’ve Watched Enough TV’ As Go-Ahead To Start Watching Tablet Instead

THE never-ending battle surrounding the topic of ‘screen time’ in the Donnellan household shows no signs of letting up this week, as 9-year-old Eamon Donnellan continues to push the boundaries of his parents patience by insisting that when they said ‘no more TV’, they didn’t say ‘no more YouTube’. Stressed-out homeschooling parents Marie and Declan… Read more »

Cousins Weird As Fuck, Finds Report

A NEW report into cousins – you know the ones – has found beyond any reasonable doubt that they are as weird as fuck, WWN can confirm. The study, funded by the Normal Cousins of Ireland group, found vast anomalies in cousin behaviour, likening them to some far removed evolutionary chain of primates who have… Read more »