In Hindsight, Family Shouldn’t Have Had That Third Kid


A STUDY has shown that vast majority of the McCarton family’s stresses and financial woes can all be traced back to the existence of their third child Martin, who has been a constant drain on resources since his birth 12 years ago.

“Fuck all we can do about it now, but yeah I’ll agree that we should have probably just left it with our eldest two,” sighed dad Eamon, as he reminisced on over a decade of everything from not having enough room in the house to not being able to easily get a table that seats the whole family at a restaurant.

“We love Martin, but if ever there was a dictionary definition of an unforced error, it’s him,” added mum Elaine, who counts ‘getting another use out of his older brother’s clothes’ as being the sole benefit of having a third child.

That said brother, 18-year-old Luke chimed in to sarcastically say that he was ‘really grateful’ that he had to share his room with a child from the age of 6, while sister Amy griped that while she loved her younger brother, it was more out of a ‘contractual obligation to do so’ rather than any strong feelings she truly held.

Martin was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy being a real pain in the hole.