WHILE some insist Christmas is a time to remember loved ones no longer with us and treasure present company, the latest research shows it’s more likely and important to remember which loved ones tend to get on your nerves very quickly.
“Christmas is great but it’s very important to remember the limits of your own patience and the high probability of you being driven up the wall by your relations if you don’t take the necessary measures,” explained a spokesperson for the Family Get On Your Nerves Support Network.
“Remember, you can just up and leave the room to take a break, you don’t have announce it or make an excuse. These sorts of kindnesses you pay yourself will help reduce irritation levels,” added the spokesperson.
Among recommendations from the FGOYNSG is a plea not to rise to the bait of off the cuff passive aggressive remarks and ensuring you bury your face in your phone as much as possible.
“If anyone suggests playing a ‘fun’ board game, explain to them that you preemptively burned all board games and will not be subjecting yourself to the temper tantrums of your siblings/parents/uncles/grandparents,” added a FGOYNSG spokesperson.
“You are no longer someone who hates going for walks on your own – in fact you love them now, 10, 20km who cares, sign you up, anything to get your out of the house! It’s the only way for you to avoid the emotional avalanche of patience-trying behaviour and pettiness exhibited by relations”.
Elsewhere, people expressing an inability to recognise such characterisations in their own families have been told to ‘feck off’.