Tag: christmas

Ireland Sinking At Rapid Rate Due To Excess Christmas Weight

AUTHORITIES are scrambling to keep the island of Ireland above sea level amidst a huge weight gain arising from snacking, dining and munching sessions in recent days. “We’ve commandeered a load of swimming pool inflatables and strapped them to the bottom of Ireland, but she’s already sinking again and rapidly,” explained a rescue worker desperately… Read more »

Oddball Family Has Christmas Dinner At 7pm

THE O’RIORDAN family are now the talk of the locality after it emerged the clan of raving oddballs have their Christmas dinner at the frankly insane time of 7pm. “They were always ‘odd’ if you know what I mean,” confirmed neighbour Tracey Whelan when speaking with WWN. A community wide test alert with nothing but… Read more »

Blitzen Quits To Pursue Solo Career

IN news that looks set to shake the Christmas industry to its very core, long-time Santa sleigh member Blitzen has stepped away from the group effective immediately, citing creative differences and a desire to ‘see what he can do on his own’ as his primary reasons for leaving the prestigious gig. “We would like to… Read more »