‘LITTLE CHRISTMAS’, ‘Women’s Christmas’, ‘Nollaig na mBan’- all different names for the 6th of January, and all perfectly valid reasons for Waterford man Declan Carmine to have one last good session of drink before January starts properly. “I was going to start my diet and stop eating selection boxes for breakfast, but then I remember… Read more »
THE children of Sean O’Bilson have been given the price of a trip to the cinema and a warning to not come back to the house until after dark, as the the Waterford man requires absolute concentration to ‘de-Christmas the place’ in one go. O’Bilson, 46, has checked the weather, cleared his schedule, refrained from… Read more »
WHILE some insist Christmas is a time to remember loved ones no longer with us and treasure present company, the latest research shows it’s more likely and important to remember which loved ones tend to get on your nerves very quickly. “Christmas is great but it’s very important to remember the limits of your own… Read more »
FORMER president and all round malignant tumour Donald Trump has a famous cameo in Home Alone 2 but in light of all actions that have made him infamous and horrible to look at the Christmas movie will now only air with Trump digitally removed from the Culkin classic. But just what uncontroversial, scandal-free, family friendly… Read more »
A WATERFORD family has been shaken to the core by the announcement that their mother has, for whatever reason, invited their dose of a cousin to Christmas dinner where he will doubtlessly do nothing but grouse about his ‘bitch of an ex-wife’. “Ah, I couldn’t leave him alone in that horrible flat all Christmas,” explained… Read more »
THE big day is almost upon you, and you’ve learned absolutely nothing since last Christmas when it comes to seating more people at a table than you’ve actually got chairs for. With X amount of people arriving and only Y amount of chairs available, it’s time to get creative: 1) Nice people get nice chairs… Read more »
NOT fully confident your partner will come up trumps this Christmas? It may be time take drastic action in the form a subtle hints, so here’s your foolproof guide: Trust them. Be subtle. Carefully mapping out all the streets and roads they most frequently find themselves walking, driving or cycling. Buy up all advertising hoardings… Read more »
WHETHER IT’S your first or 15th Christmas with the in-laws, it can be a testing time and a huge undertaking. If you’re unsure how to navigate the treacherous territory of oddballs uncles, stressed out mother-in-laws and boozed up neighbours who’ve just popped in for 8 hours of board games, then here’s your essential survival guide:… Read more »
THOUSANDS of elves are to be removed from thousands of shelves across Ireland after it was revealed that one or more of the little scamps had tested positive for Covid-19. Parents around the country uttered an unconvincing ‘oh no’ as they bundle their little elves into isolation for 14 days, which will unfortunately mean that… Read more »
“I ACKNOWLEDGE the mistakes of the past and promise to do better going forward,” CEO of Christmas Industries, Santa Claus said, sounding a note of regret over being one of the world’s largest polluters in history. Churning through thousands of megatonnes of coal every year as part of his naughty children measures, Claus will now… Read more »