Recently Divorced Cousin Invited To Christmas Dinner For Some Reason

A WATERFORD family has been shaken to the core by the announcement that their mother has, for whatever reason, invited their dose of a cousin to Christmas dinner where he will doubtlessly do nothing but grouse about his ‘bitch of an ex-wife’.

“Ah, I couldn’t leave him alone in that horrible flat all Christmas,” explained Mrs. Martha Gennings, who’s nephew Alan will join her and her grown kids for dinner for the first time this year.

This statement was immediately refuted by Mrs. Gennings’ eldest son Mikey who countered that, yes, she absolutely could leave him alone in that horrible flat for Christmas, and indeed she should.

“He’s not even one of our sound cousins, in fact we didn’t even get an invite to the wedding a few years back,” argued Mikey Gennings, who could really do without this shit at this time of year.

“Mind you, if we had gone, I’d be asking for the wedding gift back for the miserable amount of time the marriage lasted. And now he’s coming here, for Christmas dinner. He’s never set foot in the house, and he’s coming for Christmas dinner. Didn’t come to my father’s funeral, and he’s coming here for Christmas dinner. I love my mother, but she pulls this shit way too often”.

The Gennings kids eventually conceded that Alan can come for Christmas dinner so they can fill him with wine and at least get something to laugh about on Stephen’s Day.