Dropping Xmas Present Hints To Your Idiot Partner, A Guide

NOT fully confident your partner will come up trumps this Christmas? It may be time take drastic action in the form a subtle hints, so here’s your foolproof guide:

Trust them. Be subtle.

Carefully mapping out all the streets and roads they most frequently find themselves walking, driving or cycling. Buy up all advertising hoardings in these locations and enact a dastardly hinting spree utilising subtle subliminal messaging.

Display the words ‘Joanne wants a smart watch!!!’ on dozens of hoardings.

Name drop.

“Was I telling you what Nufone in work was saying to me? Yeah, dunno, think he’s from Asia somewhere”

That new phone won’t buy itself.

Try out a new pet name.

“Babe, I’m going to start calling you BarBABEdos for no particular reason”.

Technology is here to help.

When they’re away from their phone, take it and open the web browser and repeatedly type into Google the gifts you want. Ads for the products will now follow your partner around the web, act as that gentle nudge they need.

Just tell them what you want.

Good news: you get what you asked for. Bad news: you won’t to be able to act surly, indifferent and downright hostile when they get what you asked for, and let’s be honest you love guilt tripping them.