Tag: family

Morto! This Kid’s Parents Are Still Together!

REPORTS circulating a Waterford community this afternoon has confirmed that some little loser still has both his biological parents living in the same house together like some kind of fully functional family, WWN has learned. Davey Lynch, (12), was branded a little freak by peers after slipping up and stating his parents were still together,… Read more »

Kid Takes ‘You’ve Watched Enough TV’ As Go-Ahead To Start Watching Tablet Instead

THE never-ending battle surrounding the topic of ‘screen time’ in the Donnellan household shows no signs of letting up this week, as 9-year-old Eamon Donnellan continues to push the boundaries of his parents patience by insisting that when they said ‘no more TV’, they didn’t say ‘no more YouTube’. Stressed-out homeschooling parents Marie and Declan… Read more »

Cousins Weird As Fuck, Finds Report

A NEW report into cousins – you know the ones – has found beyond any reasonable doubt that they are as weird as fuck, WWN can confirm. The study, funded by the Normal Cousins of Ireland group, found vast anomalies in cousin behaviour, likening them to some far removed evolutionary chain of primates who have… Read more »

Oddball Family Has Christmas Dinner At 7pm

THE O’RIORDAN family are now the talk of the locality after it emerged the clan of raving oddballs have their Christmas dinner at the frankly insane time of 7pm. “They were always ‘odd’ if you know what I mean,” confirmed neighbour Tracey Whelan when speaking with WWN. A community wide test alert with nothing but… Read more »

Irish Mother Arrested After Mollycoddling Son For 49 Years

IN AN arrest that echoes a disturbing recent case in Sweden, Waterford mother Sheila Power has been taken into custody and charged with son-based mollycoddling which gardaĆ­ believe spanned over five decades. “It’s the worst case of its kind we’ve ever seen,” arresting officer Pat Carty told WWN, as he observed Power’s son Andrew, 49,… Read more »