Sound, Creepy Or Mysteriously Absent: Which Type Of Uncle Are You?


THE sudden appearance of thousands of Matt Le Blanc memes has had Irish people reminiscing about their uncles all weekend; but where do you rank on the list of uncle types?

If you’re a man and your brother or sister has kids, then you should find yourself in one of the following 5 uncle categories:

1) Rich

You’ve done well for yourself, and you like to treat your nieces and nephews every now and then. Rocking up to take them on days away, buying them toys all the time, being the cool uncle who always slips them a fifty euro note when he’s leaving. Are you flashing your wealth a little bit, showing up the kids’ parents who perhaps can’t afford to buy them PlayStation games at the drop of a hat? Maybe, but it’s not your fault your sister married such a loser.

2) Estranged

Your nieces and nephews, remember them? They’re the kids you don’t see any more because you and your brother fell out over land or whatever, so now you barely even remember their names. You’ll see them from time to time, usually at funerals and other such events, but they’ll never play with your kids or really get to know them. It’s sad, but remember you’re 100% right in the matter and a blood feud is a blood feud for life, cling onto that.

3) Creepy

Does your brother or sister rarely bring their kids around to see you? At family gatherings, do your nieces and nephews make their excuses and run off whenever you try to get one of them to sit on your knee? Are you last on the list for babysitting? Congratulations, you are the creepy uncle of the family. There’s gotta be one, and it’s you!

4) Out foreign

Similarly, every household has to have one uncle who lives in a faraway place, who rarely comes home (but always brings strange new sweets and foreign currency for some reason). Is this you? Well, look around you; are you in the same country as your nephews and nieces? No? Well then it’s you, genius.

5) Pure sound

Buys you drink at weddings. Gave you a vape pen for Christmas. Will come and pick you up in town if you get hammered and don’t want to wake your parents for a lift. These are the hallmarks of a pure sound uncle, the highest tier male relative a person can have. Sends you porn on WhatsApp, sets you up for a lifetime of alcohol dependency. Dies at 47. Pure sound.