Tag: family

Local Father Terrified Of Teenage Daughters

CONSTANTLY fearing he’ll be drawn into a complex argument about what it means to be a woman in today’s world, father-of-three teenage girls Rory Donald remains in a state of constant fear, like a hostage in his own home. “I’ll be using a disposal razor to shave and I’ll get a lecture on the Pink… Read more »

Local Man Sits Down To Pee These Days

DEFENDING a recent trip to the toilet in the early hours of this morning where he sat down to urinate, local man Mark Dalton blamed tiredness as being the factor behind his new sitting routine. Accidentally spotted at 6.36am by his son James who was also going for a ‘normal stand-up pee’, Dalton was left… Read more »

“Ah Jesus Claire, Don’t Be Throwing Terms Like ‘Intersectional Feminism’ At Your Poor Old Dad”

ANOTHER polite conversation turned full blown argument has occurred in the McNamee household with mother and wife Janet again playing peacemaker, WWN understands. Regularly butting heads over the big issues of the day, father John McNamee and daughter Claire McNamee are a constant source of bickering which drains Janet McNamee of all energy and will… Read more »

New Reverse Pregnancy Procedure Allows Mothers To Bring Young Children To Work In Their Womb

A GROUNDBREAKING procedure developed by Irish gynecologists is set to revolutionise childcare across the world, while cutting costs for working parents and creating an everlasting bond with their children, WWN has learned. Aptly named ‘reverse pregnancy’, doctors expect the procedure to be performed nationwide in a simple outpatient day surgery, taking just 60 minutes. “It… Read more »

Housewide Panic As Local Mother Joins TikTok

CONVENING an emergency meeting in the hallway of their home, the children of Waterford woman Deirdre Power are dealing with a full blown crisis. The severity of the situation became clear as teenagers Ellen, Caoimhe and Ronan heard the load unrelenting cackling of their mother who has spent the last hour laughing at and singing… Read more »

Local Kid Expecting Interest Next Time He Sees Grandparents

ALTHOUGH the cancellation of payments to visiting grandchildren has come as a huge relief to elderly citizens around the country, WWN has discovered that a nefarious plot by ruthless kids to impose ‘missed payment’ fees may result in financial ruin for some pensioners. “A lot of grandparents took advantage of the so-called ‘payment holiday’, believing… Read more »