Fuck it, Family Leaving Christmas Decorations Up All Year

THE relentless bad news about Covid-19 emerging each day has lead to one Waterford family issuing a pledge to leave their house fully decorated for the next twelve months, with a subsequent bulletin stressing that they ‘don’t want to hear any shit about it’.

“The kids really wanted their grandparents to see the house all decorated but then, as you know, there was the whole pandemic thing so they couldn’t visit. They were really upset about Granny and Granda missing out so we just said fuck it” said mum-of-four Margaret McKenna, kicking back with a cup of tea while most people are heading to their attic with a bag of stuff.

“I don’t have a ladder so I’d have to go visit a neighbour to borrow one and that’s against guidelines so really, the decision was made for us” smiled her husband Eamon, delighted he doesn’t have to scale the outside of his house in the lashing rain to get a plastic Santa from his roof.

“We don’t feel like we got a proper Christmas, do you? So they’re staying up, tree, lights, tinsel, the works. The kids are delighted and so are we. We’re both working from home and there’s the four of them running around so it’s not like we have time to bless ourselves, let alone de-bauble the place”.

Other trappings of Christmas will remain in the McKenna house for thew foreseeable future, such as a well-worn copy of the RTÉ Guide, and five Strawberry Delights at the bottom of a tin of Roses that nobody wants, but can’t bring themselves to throw out.