Category: POLITICS

Burton Catches Taoiseach Texting Martin

LEADER of the Labour party Joan Burton is reportedly being consoled by fellow party members this morning after walking in on the Taoiseach as he was apparently texting Fianna Fail leader Micheál Martin. Speaking to WWN, a source inside the Labour party said Ms. Burton ran from the Taoiseach’s office sobbing uncontrollably. “She went in… Read more »

How To Draw The Perfect Penis On Your Ballot Paper

As part of WWN’s extensive coverage of the general election we are addressing the issue of spoiling your vote. Many disgruntled and disillusioned voters will choose to arrive at a polling station only to spoil their vote. Political commentators see it as a controversial step to take, sighting the act as a slight on those… Read more »

Leader Profiles: Enda Kenny & Gerry Adams

HOT on the heels of this evening’s final leaders debate, we bring you, the voters, a definitive guide to Fine Gael leader and Taoiseach Enda Kenny and his rival Sinn Féin president Gerry Adams: Name: Enda Kenny Age: 64 Job: currently the leader of Fine Gael and Taoiseach of Ireland. Formerly a shite teacher. Weaknesses:… Read more »