How To Get Your Booster Jab & Where

IT IS possible that if you have been distracted by the latest episode of The Great British Shitshow, hosted by Boris Johnson, you may not have noticed the shambolic communication around rollout of third doses and booster jabs by the HSE and Dept. of Health here in Ireland.

Are you due a jab but unsure of when, where and how you can get one? WWN has the essential information for you here:

1) Don’t ask the HSE. Better to consult a fortune teller who reads tea leaves to find out if you will be getting it a vaccination centre, walk in centre, GP clinic, pharmacy or back alley.

2) Remember, you are only eligible for an additional jab if you admit that this is actually all your fault and the government is, as always, blameless.

3) As the HSE has been at pains to state to you simple minded halfwits, if you’re in the jam sandwich cohort present yourself at your nearest vaccination centre last week. If you haven’t done that already, look out into the night sky and await the bat signal.

4) If the bat signal doesn’t materialise, then you are to attend a farmers market three towns over at €.30pm on Onesday next.

5) Wherever you eventually get your booster jab this time remember you will get your 4th, 5th and 6th doses at different, inconveniently located premises. By the time of the 7th jab, vaccine taps will be installed in homes.

6) Growing impatient? Make sure to berate the receptionist at your local GP surgery. If you make them cry you’re automatically bumped to the top of the queue.

7) There are walk-in vaccination centres but you can’t walk-in there as there’s queues around the block and as the HSE has recently suggested, please don’t join the queue.

8) Oh for Christ’s sake! Why were you a no show for that appointment the HSE texted you about even though you’d already got your additional jab last week. No, it wasn’t a HSE IT glitch, you’re a HSE IT glitch!