THE 300,000 people in the country who remain unvaccinated are struggling to understand how anyone could come to the conclusion that they should shoulder any of the blame for unvaccinated people making up the majority of ICU cases, WWN has learned. Fully agreeing that having a HSE seemingly made entirely out of wet tissue and… Read more »
LAMENTING the fact Ireland possessing the world’s only 4th World health service is jeopardising an end to restrictions on the 22nd of October, the Taoiseach urged the 90% of the population that is vaccinated to blame those not vaccinated for decades of ineptitude and shameless neglect of the health service by politicians. “There is a… Read more »
WAITING LISTS remain a huge issue in the health service and those awaiting surgery of the minor/major variety face serious delays amid a critical lack of access to healthcare. Marketing and PR companies hired by the government with funds that probably could have been better spent going towards reducing waiting lists have been given the… Read more »
STAFF shortages in the nation’s ICU units may have been solved by an innovative contraption currently under trial in St. Vincent’s University Hospital in Dublin, where a tethered farm animal following a carrot on a stick is ‘pretty much running the show’. Conditions at St. Vincent’s have reached such a critical stage that staff were… Read more »
AFTER ANNOUNCING their final live briefing gig before they go into ‘surveillance mode’, tickets for NPHET’s swansong have sold out in a matter of minutes, WWN can reveal. The demand for tickets to everybody’s favourite Covid monitoring public healh group is such that ticket reselling sites are already listing seats for the late October gig… Read more »
SENIOR health officials have recommended that everyone should crack into the gin and the quarter pounders as soon and as often as possible, ‘for all the difference it makes’ in the grand scheme of things. The announcement comes following research that suggests that exercising may cause high levels of calcium in coronary arteries, leading to… Read more »
HAVING decided that keeping schools safe from Covid-19 is too much hassle, the government has advised parents to form a WhatsApp group where they can keep in touch with each other and find out why half their kid’s class wasn’t at their desks today. “We were going to keep up the whole ‘close contacts’, ’14… Read more »
WITH WELL publicised waiting lists stretching on for longer than the Lord of the Rings Directors Cut DVD boxset, the news that Sláintecare executive director Laura Magahy has stepped down has been met with broad and unconvincing smiles as well as trembling thumbs ups indicating everything is perfectly fine. While a progress report cited significant… Read more »
AFTER her pleas with a maternity hospital fell on deaf ears an enterprising mother-to-be has decided to give birth in her local pub so that her partner can be present for the birth of their child. “It’s not just about him being there in fairness, my local do chicken wings that are out of this… Read more »
AS THE government finally discovers potentially huge issues with the governance and ownership of the proposed site for the new national maternity hospital, we spoke to one dog in the street who tried to warn the government years ago. “I barked and barked about how poorly thought out building a maternity hospital on land owned… Read more »