INITIAL concerns around the severity of Ebola Breakout 2k19 have been alleviated by the news that the troublesome disease has managed to quarantine itself to the poorer areas of the world, WWN can confirm. The deadly disease, which returned this year for a killer new season after several years on hiatus, is currently causing huge amounts… Read more »
A STUDY conducted by the World Wildlife Fund has revealed that people could be ingesting an astonishing 5 grams of plastic a week, such is the ubiquity of plastics in our societies. However, those seeking to partake in a balanced diet may be worried their inadvertent consumption of plastics through plastic bottles and shellfish consumption… Read more »
WWN was granted unprecedented access to the site on which the National Children’s Hospital will eventually be built, sometime around your newborn turns 52. Unfortunately the project director and the chairperson of the board of the NCH stepped down in disgrace so WWN had to make do with a tour from the Minister of Health,… Read more »
VAX. Anti-Vax. Measles, smallpox. Herd immunity, government conspiracies. The only way we’ll ever know the truth, is to do the one thing that unites all threads by doing what we should always do. Follow the money. Who stands to benefit from the return of a slew of diseases with symptoms that predominantly include itchy skin… Read more »
MINISTER For Health Simon Harris has been diagnosed with a chronic shoulder condition that has left him locked in a ‘hey, what can I do about it?’ stance, following nearly three years of dealing with the HSE. Harris was forced to finally acknowledge the fact that he couldn’t unshrug his shoulders as the news broke that… Read more »
DUBLIN Fire Brigade announced plans to combat the amount of time patients spend waiting for paramedics with the introduction of a new app called ‘Ambulancr’. Following complaints that some patients were forced to wait an hour for an ambulance due to lack of funding and chronic Dublin traffic, experts in the DFB’s problem-solving department struck on… Read more »
A QUICK Google search on the leading causes of cancer has shown that googling the leading causes of cancer may be the leading cause of cancer, WWN can confirm. By simply asking the world-leading search engine for information on your symptoms, the average person is 10 times more likely to receive disheartening news which will… Read more »
THE LATEST news reports coming into WWN via our sister site Everything Is An Inside Job News (EIAIJN) has confirmed that George Soros single-handedly devised all modern vaccine programmes used across the world, and in the most heinous example of his villainous ways, used chemtrails to invent the HPV vaccine. The HPV vaccine, known as… Read more »
HERE’S some crap research which somehow equates smoking 10 cigarettes to one bottle of wine but just keep on scrolling through your news feed because fuck this shit, wine is lovely so it is, WWN can confirm. UK researchers with obviously nothing else better to do have decided to help media outlets create clickbait style reports… Read more »
FED up with the state of the Health Service Executive, the government have turned to a crew of highly recommended Polish lads who claim the job is ‘no problem’, and should be finished up by the weekend tops. Minister For Health Simon Harris found the Polish lads through a neighbour of his who claimed there wasn’t… Read more »