A MAN endeavouring to kick start his New Year fitness regime has been surrounded by a rapid pack of wild personal trainers, WWN has learned. With gyms closed for the foreseeable future it is believed Ireland now has some 100,000 personal trainers left with no option but to operate in the wild, something local man… Read more »
THE UN’s annual Human Development Index has listed the Republic Of Ireland as having the second-highest quality of living of anywhere in the world, in a report that apparently isn’t some sort of prank. Ireland, verified as being this Ireland, the one we’re in right now, was said to have a level of health, income… Read more »
AS long as there’s a trolley left empty in the halls of our hospitals, the country should remain open for business as usual; that’s the opinion of amateur statistician and full-time local man Alan Canning, who told WWN all about how Ireland is ‘well able’ to incur another few deaths here and there for the… Read more »
ANY potential ‘vaccine cert’ which people can carry on their person in Ireland that would permit them to avail of and do things non-vaccinated people cannot will be reassuringly easy to forge, the Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly has said. Modeled on the Garda Age Card, the vaccine cert will be an easily copied and… Read more »
IT’S a very real tragedy lost amidst the selfish bleating on about students nurses, but today WWN focuses the spotlight on the pay and working conditions of those far more deserving; unpaid student TDs. Nurses working on the frontlines of Covid-19 and in A&E departments think they have it bad? They will hang their heads… Read more »
“OH GOOD luck trying to get me to get that yoke, I’ll end anyone who tries,” proclaimed local man Graham Folan, speaking about the proposed January rollout of the Covid-19 jab in Ireland. Feeling antagonised at the thought of getting something that could see life for him and everyone else return to normality as soon… Read more »
WITH the rollout of Covid jabs beginning around the world, concerns about the side effects from talking out of your arse about Covid-19 have never been more vocal and prominent. Are you concerned about a loved one and keen to know what the side effects are? WWN has the list you need. Among the most… Read more »
THE GOVERNMENT has finally relented and will begin implementing a permanent medicinal cannabis delivery system which saves ‘lazy stoners’ the effort of having to travel abroad each and every time they need to obtain a prescription which can bring an end to debilitating seizures or ease agonising pain. “You’d swear we were asking them to… Read more »
IGNORING all calls to enjoy the new coronavirus vaccine responsibly, a group of hardened sessioners from Waterford are adamant about binging the miracle cure over a 14-hour period on the 23rd of December as a modification of their usual ’12 pubs’ night out. “I’ve told the missus already, an overdose of this thing might leave… Read more »
THE government’s decision to roll out the Covid-19 vaccine first to elderly people in care homes has put a serious dampener on one Waterford family’s plans to go somewhere nice in the new year for a guilt-free holiday, now that they don’t have a foolproof excuse for not calling in to see their grandmother once… Read more »