WATERFORD patriot Eamon Birde is prepared to spend a significant part of his morning laying out chapter and verse of the constitution as he insists that local cafe Scrumcious serve him a bacon sandwich despite his non-vaccinated status. “I appreciate everything you’re saying sir, but I’m a 19-year-old minimum wage worker and I don’t really… Read more »
HOPEFUL that six long months of treating his mouth like a radioactive bin and treating it with the sort of neglect that should probably be a crime is easily reversible, local man Ciaran Faolin is now frantically brushing his teeth in the vain attempt to counteract the self-inflicted abuse. Adding a second brush into the… Read more »
A ‘READ the instructions and take your time’ appeal has been reissued by authorities as the use of antigen tests in Ireland becomes more widespread and an essential part of curbing the spread of Covid-19, with safety concerns being expressed after one Waterford man’s mishap. “They were all saying it’s straightforward even an idiot could… Read more »
THE family of US psychiatrist Aaron T. Beck who died yesterday at the ripe old age of 100 are said to be coping well with his passing and not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, WWN has learned. Considered the cog-father of behavioural therapy, Beck revolutionised treatments into anxiety and depression in… Read more »
LOCAL brick layer Tony Woods has decided that he’s not going to bother getting the covid vaccine for fear he’ll get the absolute piss ripped out of him by the lads, who continue to speculate on global conspiracy theories through WhatsApp groups and badly pixelated conspiracy memes. “There’s not a chance in hell I’ll get… Read more »
A COMBINATION of staff shortages, burnout, waiting lists and a rise in Covid cases and hospital admissions has seen Irish hospitals claim the top spot in Ireland’s annual scariest places for Halloween list. Usually an accolade bestowed upon a haunted house where the Devil is alleged to have played cards, or an abandoned Church were… Read more »
THE 300,000 people in the country who remain unvaccinated are struggling to understand how anyone could come to the conclusion that they should shoulder any of the blame for unvaccinated people making up the majority of ICU cases, WWN has learned. Fully agreeing that having a HSE seemingly made entirely out of wet tissue and… Read more »
LAMENTING the fact Ireland possessing the world’s only 4th World health service is jeopardising an end to restrictions on the 22nd of October, the Taoiseach urged the 90% of the population that is vaccinated to blame those not vaccinated for decades of ineptitude and shameless neglect of the health service by politicians. “There is a… Read more »
WAITING LISTS remain a huge issue in the health service and those awaiting surgery of the minor/major variety face serious delays amid a critical lack of access to healthcare. Marketing and PR companies hired by the government with funds that probably could have been better spent going towards reducing waiting lists have been given the… Read more »
STAFF shortages in the nation’s ICU units may have been solved by an innovative contraption currently under trial in St. Vincent’s University Hospital in Dublin, where a tethered farm animal following a carrot on a stick is ‘pretty much running the show’. Conditions at St. Vincent’s have reached such a critical stage that staff were… Read more »