Tag: health

Vaccine For Being A Thick Still Decades Away

ALTHOUGH medical science has managed to eradicate smallpox, polio, measles and mumps among others, doctors have solemnly announced that the cure for common cuntishness is still many, many years away. Idiocy, arguably the greatest threat humanity has ever faced, had by and large been kept in check following the dawn of books, until the arrival… Read more »

Politicians Suddenly Discover Concerns About Nation’s Mental Health

ABSEILING down abandoned mine shafts, exploring long forgotten caves on uninhabited islands, climbing to previously unreachable mountain tops, politicians of all shapes, sizes and questionable brain power have discovered the once mythical topic of ‘mental health’. Many speaking passionately for the very first time about a subject they have resolutely ignored, politicians are bravely now… Read more »

Fire Brigade Called After Donnelly Gets Head Stuck In Dáil Railings

FRESH from the Taoiseach revealing he only learned about the recent, probably fairly inconsequential collapse of the country’s contact tracing system via an Irish Times article, today has brought yet another embarrassing incident for the hapless three-party government. “Eh, sorry lads,” shared a sheepish Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly to firemen arriving at the scene… Read more »