Local Man Just One Booster Away From Free Coffee


EXCITEDLY rolling up his sleeve and dreaming of a lactose free latte, Waterford man Cian Downley bristled with delight as his local pharmacist marked out another stamp on his vaccine loyalty card.

Having previously craned his neck to see over the shoulder of the person in front of him in the queue, Downley reveled in the fact the loser in front had 4 more boosters to go before a free coffee whereas Downley was this close earning a delicious coffee.

“Not that I need an incentive,” offered Downley, whose not sure his patience can take to two weeks it will take until it’s announced everyone will need a weekly booster to boost to the booster top up booster.

“The only real incentive I need is keeping people safe but at the same time I know the exact coffee I’m going to get, at the exact time and the exact location,” added Downley, he wanted his free coffee to be a morning one, setting himself up for the day and rewarding him for his ongoing participation in the vaccination programme.

“Did you here they’ll have a special one for Omicron soon enough? Can’t wait, but don’t expect to see the head the balls queuing up,” Downley said, balancing a caffeine and smug sense of superiority addictions.

Vaccine administrators have confirmed thanks to the enthusiasm of citizens like Downley, there may be a greater focus on interrogating people over whether they’ve had a vaccine in the last 20 minutes or not.