Relief As Omicron Only Resulting In Run Of The Mill HSE Chaos

THUS FAR huge numbers of Covid-19 cases attributed to the Omicron variant has not resulted in the HSE being overwhelmed by the virus with health service thankfully just subjected to the normal chaos and breakdown it frequently enters.

“Oh no relax, that mentally fragile nurse who’s crying and begging for help isn’t doing it due to ongoing intake of Covid patients,” explained one Dept. of Health official as relieved as anyone that the canceled appointments, reduced operations and trolley pile up experienced at hospitals is the normal unbridled HSE disaster.

While some essentials services, check ups and surgeries remain postponed indefinitely the public is asked to take solace from the fact this is largely not down to Covid-19 currently.

Healthcare staff have bemoaned the deferrals of essential hearing tests for department officials and HSE managers as it’s clear they are suffering from a chronic case of selective hearing.

“We regularly perform checks in hospitals and carry out surveys of staff, for example, this doctor here passed out from exhaustion and so tired she’s afraid to drive home because she may fall asleep at the wheel and crash. She’s just this overworked because of normal HSE dysfunction, so I think we can start scaling down everything now” beamed an official.

Meanwhile, the Minister for Health Stephen Donelly is, out of an abundance of caution, to keep isolating himself from media questions despite not being listed as a close contact with anyone.