THE HSE has brought in what is being described as ‘a big load of Chinese lads’ to help finish up construction on the beleaguered Children’s Hospital project, following reports of a 1,000-bed facility that was built in just ten days in the Wuhan province in China to cope with the Corona Virus outbreak. The Chinese… Read more »
AN OFFICIAL patients handbook being circulated by the Department of Health urges those requiring medical care of any kind to spend seven years retraining as a doctor as it’s quicker than some HSE waiting lists, WWN can reveal. “Some of those open heart surgery YouTube tutorials are honestly very good, just make sure to sterilise… Read more »
A VIGIL is being held for the HSE tonight, after a Department of Health committee opted to keep the ailing service alive despite the fact that it ceased to show any signs of brain function a long time ago. The HSE had once been a vital, truly great hope for Irish health care patients, but… Read more »
ACTING on record levels of hospital overcrowding, the Health Minister Simon Harris in conjunction with the HSE has unveiled a €3bn investment into ‘bunk bed trolleys’ which are expected to half the number of people waiting on hospital trolleys in only a matter of weeks. Technically classed as one unit, the new bunk trolleys will bring the monthly figure down from 10,000… Read more »
TIRED of having to read several articles to keep up to date with all the various crises in the HSE? Lucky for you, WWN have compiled this handy guide to keep you up to speed! Children’s Hospital Hopes that the woefully over-budget Children’s Hospital project would suddenly shed €500m in expenses and arrive on time… Read more »
THE committee overseeing the construction of the National Children’s Hospital has been revealed to be a married couple in their mid-eighties who were assured by the builder that he could get the job on time and under budget, and who hasn’t been seen for weeks since ‘nipping out to Woodies for screws’. Diarmuid and Agnes O’Connell,… Read more »
NEWS has just broken that Health Minister Simon Harris is believed to be TRAPPED inside Simon Harris. The disturbing incident comes hours after an estimated 400,000 protesters (believed to be convicted murderers from JOBSTOWN and part of the terrorist ANTI-AUSTERITY MOVEMENT) stood VIOLENTLY outside the home of the health minister, WWN can sensationally report with loud… Read more »
REMOVING any ambiguity from recent comments made in public, to the Dáil, in the media and said privately when they think no one is listening, the Government have helpfully clarified for the public ‘fuck the nurses’, WWN can reveal. As separate strike actions from midwives and psychiatric nurses remain ongoing, the government has tried to… Read more »
IRELAND’S national health system the HSE stated it was absolutely flattered after its 10 year challenge pictures were almost identical to 2009, WWN can confirm. The Health Service Executive posted two images late yesterday evening depicting crowded hallways and hospital trolleys littered full of annoyed, sick patients waiting to be seen by struggling nurses and doctors. “Oh my God, you haven’t… Read more »
THE HSE has come under fire yet again today after a detailed report found that thousands of women are waiting up to 9 months to give birth in Irish hospitals, WWN can confirm. The shocking report found that the large majority of expecting mothers are being “fobbed off” by national hospitals every few weeks, with many… Read more »