Irate & Bare Chested Martin Calls Out Putin Over HSE Ransomware Hack


RECENT attacks carried out by the Russian backed Darkside and Evil Corp hacking groups has given rise to suspicions that Putin’s FSB may be responsible for the recent HSE ransomware hack which might explain why an irate and bare-chested Micheál Martin is in the middle of recording a call out video to the Russian leader.

“I’ll fight any man,” the Taoiseach said rather unconvincingly, as he shivered in the cold thus obliterating the notion that ‘you can’t mess with the Irish state’s mess of a network of IT systems and get away with it’.

Such is the severity of the attack Ireland has now been forced back to using dial-up internet only and communicating through a supply of Nokia 3210s which every household has lying around in some drawer in the house.

Now throwing scurrilous accusations about ‘junkies junkies bastard’ Putin into the chilly air on the steps outside Leinster House, Taoiseach Martin had hoped to intimidate the leader enough into freeing the HSE’s IT system from crippling ransomware.

“We don’t negotiate with terrorists, ha, I always wanted to say that,” wrote the Taoiseach in an earlier exchange with hackers who had demanded Bitcoin and other things the Irish government had never heard of, such as an affordable home.

Despite the show of intimidation by Martin, the nation’s best hope remains the hackers taking pity on the shocking state of government IT infrastructure and returning IT systems to being fully operational.

Elsewhere, in response to this dangerous attack on the health service, which genuinely poses a risk to the life of patients, the Gardaí and Irish Defence Forces have confirmed they remain on hold with Eir customer service.