Detective On Stakeout After Spotting Man Buying 20 Johnnie Blue & Rizzlas In Shop


“THERE’S just something about the whole thing that doesn’t seem right” mused drug squad detective Derek Craven as he entered his fourth hour of waiting outside the Waterford home of a suspicious character that he had queued behind in the local Spar earlier in the day.

“Why would someone buy cigarettes and rolling papers at the same time? I’ve got a hunch about this guy. I reckon he’s in there with drugs; cannabis, hash, all the bad ones. The ones we need off the streets, the ones that are turning our kids into mindless scumbags, just like this guy in here. I know it, I just know it. OK, here he comes”.

Radioing in to Waterford Station for back-up, Craven slowly inched along with his light off behind his mid-twenties target, who walked obliviously towards Spar again, emerging moments later with what appeared to be a deli roll of some kind.

“The munchies, that’s it. I’ve seen enough!” growled Craven, checking his service revolver to make sure it was loaded before tackling the suspect.

“Craven to base, if you hear me, I’m going in. Fuck the warrant, I’ve all the evidence I need that there’s drug-taking going on in that house. I’ve got the rolling papers, the chicken fillet roll, I can clearly hear music of some sort coming from an upstairs bedroom. OK you drug scum, today’s the last day you breathe free air. Let’s go!”.

UPDATE: Following his daring seizure of up to 25 euro worth of marijuana, Detective Craven has been promoted to Deputy Garda Commissioner, while the suspect has received 9 years in jail and will think twice before watching The Chase stoned again.