Tag: health

“Bang And The Virus Is Gone!” – Barry Scott Unveils Cillit Bang Vaccine

CILLIT bang representative Barry Scott has confirmed the company has almost completed developing a Coronavirus vaccine which he claims will eradicate 99.9999999999% of Covid variants, stating “bang and the virus is gone!” Demonstrating the new vaccine at a high-octane press briefing today, the overly enthusiastic Mr. Scott looked almost manic in appearance as he frantically… Read more »

Media Running Out Of Ways To Say ‘Health System Fucked’

LEAFING through dog eared copies of thesauruses reporters are struggling to remember how many times they have used ‘catastrophic’, ‘cataclysmic’, ‘grim’, ‘decimated’, ‘disaster’ and ‘the bit in Titanic when the ship snaps in half’ to describe the recent deterioration in the capacity of the health service to treat an explosion in the number of Covid-19… Read more »