Parading Vulnerable Overweight People On TV Like Cattle Just What Nation Needs Right Now


BURNT out from weeks of liquid induced socialising and general debauchery, the Irish nation sat down to watch their favourite annual diet-based reality tv program, Operation Transformation, in the hopes of feeling better about themselves and realising they may not be as self-loathing as initially thought, in comparison.

“I’m usually at my darkest hour come January after giving up the booze for a few days and trying to exercise, so judging overweight introverts really sparks my dopamine levels and gives me a nice low bar to set myself away from,” self-confessed misery merchant and viewer Donald Woods said explaining his logic.

Using a collective mix of ‘experts’, ranging from the patronising to the psychological, six carefully chosen individuals are given a soul-destroying life grilling and forced to reveal all their insecurities to a tear-thirsty nation, ticking a widely accepted social problem box for Ireland’s national broadcaster; that being overweight is the worst place you can ever be.

“I just love it when they start crying and their face quivers with emotion, or when that smarmy schoolboy-looking lad in the silly trunks patronises them into a blubbering mess,” another dedicated viewer offered, who admits to lasting 20 seconds into the ad break when prompted to exercise at home, “secretly I wish for contestants not to lose weight at the weigh ins so they get a bollocking on national TV – I’d imagine it’s like those dreams where you wake up naked in school and everyone is laughing, mocking you – it’s great television”.

Despite the show’s positive objective, many believe Operation Transformation can also be counterproductive, putting considerable emphasis on dieting, body weight and shape – issues those suffering with eating disorders say help creates a community sanctioned dieting culture.

“There’s always the snowflakes who will disagree with everything,” defended another viewer, “just let us scoff at fat people in peace so we can all feel good about ourselves – there’s nothing more Irish than that”.