HAVING spent the run-up to Christmas filling your timelines with articles filled with wall-to-wall festive food, drinks, restaurants and treats for you to enjoy, it’s now time for us to fill your timelines with articles showing you how you can shed the pounds of disgusting fat you’ve packed onto yourself, so that you can rejoin… Read more »
WOMEN up and down the country are finding quiet, ebullient, reserved, loud, respectful, joyous, deferential and buoyant ways to mark the passing of abortion legislation through the Dáil despite ‘Pro-Life’ TDs pointing out that some people voted No in a referendum that passed with 67% (841,233) of the electorate voting to repeal the 8th amendment…. Read more »
IN the latest study designed by think-tanks with the express purposes of terrifying expecting mothers or parents of newborn babies, WWN can reveal that walking past butchers shops between week 27 and week 29 of a pregnancy can result in acute Childus Fuckeduppoa, more commonly known as ‘your child is fucked, hen’. Similar to studies… Read more »
ANYONE currently awaiting treatment for ailments ranging from chronic piles to chronic pyorrhoea have been advised to check with their local hospital to see if their appointment has been cancelled, after the HSE admitted that cutbacks have decimated its supply of Dettol, and the one wire brush owned by the health executive is ‘fucked’. Furthermore, the… Read more »
AS PART OF our WWN Voices series we give a platform to those we really shouldn’t, this time it is the turn of a hospital trolley in Tallaght’s A&E department, who is responding to Dr Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s recent piece in the Irish Times which followed on from his comments about restricting extended leave for… Read more »
MINISTER for Finance Paschal Donohoe wasted no time in sticking the boot into ordinary decent people who just want to live their lives under a high threat of terminal lung cancer, by hiking the cost of a pack of 20 cigarettes by 50c. The latest increase puts the price of a pack of cigarettes at… Read more »
WHITEWASH with a street value of €400m is currently on its way to Leinster House in a convoy of articulated tanker trucks from a limestone quarry in the midlands, following a quantity report that suggested that the government’s stocks for 2018 were already depleted, with fresh developments in the CervicalCheck scandal just around the corner. It is… Read more »
ARE YOU looking for a career that gives you all you’ve ever wanted in life? Are those things you’re searching for bineg ‘overworked’, ‘undervalued’ and ‘exploited’? Well then WWN Jobs might just have the perfect position for you. Nursing is a noble profession which is often called a ‘vocation’ or considered ‘a calling’. What do… Read more »
A FAMISHED Waterford man currently trying to decide what to eat for lunch has confirmed he is actually “too hungry” to try the Falafel, but promised to make the decision to eat one someday, just not today. Mark Ryan, 44, who could probably do with losing a few pounds now that he thinks about it, has… Read more »
FOLLOWING news that a staggering one million Irish people are currently waiting on some form of hospital waiting list, Minister For Health Simon Harris has called on the nation to take a good hard look at itself, WWN can confirm. “What are you doing to yourselves at all?” asked Mr. Harris, who was rudely interrupted by… Read more »