Tag: satire

Drug Gangs Takeover Vaccine Deliveries In Bid To Get Supply To Everyone

FRUSTRATED by yet more tales of stilted vaccine rollout in the form of news that Ireland’s projected first quarter vaccine deliveries will actually be more than 50% below initial estimates, the Irish public has taken drastic action. Wrestling all vaccine rollout responsibilities from out of the hands of idle, inefficient and excuse making government officials,… Read more »

Loyalists Renege On Good Friday Agreement Except The Bit Where They Get Out Of Jail

A NUMBER of Loyalist paramilitary groups have written a really rather crossly-worded letter to the prime minister of Britain expressing their dismay at the ongoing Northern Ireland Protocol issues, while also withdrawing their support for the Good Friday Agreement, more or less, there’s a few bits in there they ‘want to hang on to’. “Mr…. Read more »

Lucky Australians Don’t Get Their News From Facebook Anymore

ENVIOUS social media users from across the world have expressed their palpable envy for Australians’ news-free Facebook experience. “Wow, lucky bastards; no crazy aunt arguing with you under the 50 racist Daily Mail articles she’s posted, no old school friend sharing anti-vaxx conspiracy theories. Those Aussies are living the dream,” confirmed one social media user… Read more »

Waterford Lad Misses Fighting Outside Pubs

A COUNTY Waterford man has admitted today that he misses kicking the face off strangers outside pubs and chippers in the early morning, stating he would give anything for a good old-fashioned row right now, WWN reports. Jayo Lonergan, who has 57 convictions ranging from assault to drug dealing, said he’d ‘gladly dance on someone‚Äôs… Read more »

Foreign Lad Has Nicer Car Than You

LOCAL man William Farnhill has added ‘swanky car’ to the list of things he doesn’t like about the Eastern European lad who moved in up the road from him, adding that it ‘doesn’t seem right’ that someone who hasn’t lived in Waterford for his whole life should be able to afford a 131 Nissan Qashqai… Read more »