Tag: satire

Politicians Suddenly Discover Concerns About Nation’s Mental Health

ABSEILING down abandoned mine shafts, exploring long forgotten caves on uninhabited islands, climbing to previously unreachable mountain tops, politicians of all shapes, sizes and questionable brain power have discovered the once mythical topic of ‘mental health’. Many speaking passionately for the very first time about a subject they have resolutely ignored, politicians are bravely now… Read more »

Fire Brigade Called After Donnelly Gets Head Stuck In Dáil Railings

FRESH from the Taoiseach revealing he only learned about the recent, probably fairly inconsequential collapse of the country’s contact tracing system via an Irish Times article, today has brought yet another embarrassing incident for the hapless three-party government. “Eh, sorry lads,” shared a sheepish Minister for Health Stephen Donnelly to firemen arriving at the scene… Read more »

Local Man’s Mask Caked In Chocolate, Meanies

BLISSFULLY accustomed to the pickled onion twang and hint of musty cocoa air filtering through his now 6-month-old face mask, Waterford man Daniel Rogers continued about his day without a care in the world, happy in the knowledge he was doing his bit for society, WWN reports. Item one of a ten-pack of masks bought… Read more »

“Lockdown Crucial If We Want To Go Absolutely Fuckin’ Mental Over The Christmas” Confirms Taoiseach

CLARIFYING some elements of his speech to the nation last night, Taoiseach Micheál Martin confirmed that the next six weeks of lockdown have to go well if ‘we are to all go absolutely, balls-to-wall Irish-style mental over the Christmas’. “Horsing pints down your gullet like it was a Covid-19 vaccine while your head is squeezed… Read more »