Health Service To Hire Out-Of-Work Bar Staff To Mix Vaccine Cocktails

WITH more and more evidence emerging regarding the effectiveness of mixing Coronavirus vaccines, the Health Service Executive of Ireland has called on out-of-work bar staff to come forward to help the department mix different variations at their labs.

“We figured we could kill two birds with the one stone and try and give back to the very people whose jobs were lost as a direct result of the pandemic,” HSE CEO Paul Reid explains the new move, “so we welcome any Tom Cruise wannabe’s out there to give us a shout”.

Scientists in the UK say mixing jabs could possibly give even better protection but didn’t detail how much of one should be mixed with the other, leaving it up to the professionals to experiment.

“I call this one the Long Ireland Iced-19,” demonstrated recently designated HSE mixologist and barman Tony Stapleton of the Hogs Head bar in Waterford, mixing equal parts of four vaccines together in a metal shaker full of ice, “we’re still trialing the different vaccine measures here, but we do expect to have a winner over the next few weeks”.

The most popular vaccine cocktail mixtures currently being tested so far are, Cosmovavax, Janssen Tonic, AstraZeneca Sunrise and the Pornstar Moderna.

The HSE has noted that bar staff wishing to contribute to the new scheme must bring their own mixing equipment, cocktail shakers and glasses.