Tag: facebook

New Facebook Dating Service Just Facebook

ALTHOUGH leaked details regarding Facebook’s new dating profile srvice have shown that the service is just basically Facebook, that hasn’t stopped shares in other dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com and Fingr from tumbling to record lows. The existing dating sites took a hit on the stock exchange as Facebook rebounded from months of negative PR… Read more »

Zuckerberg Bombarded With Facebook Ads For Suits, Haircuts

FACEBOOK Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is currently suffering from repetitive strain injury in his wrist, caused by having to ceaselessly click away ads for suits, barber shops, toothpaste and anxiety pills that have cluttered up his newsfeed since his congressional hearing this week. Zuckerberg was brought in front of congress amid the fallout of the Cambridge… Read more »

Thousands Of Newsfeeds Affected Following Syrian Chemical Attack

A CHEMICAL attack which continues the incalculable suffering endured by innocent civilians in Syria has tragically interrupted thousands of people’s routine of mindlessly scrolling through their social media feeds, WWN understands. Penetrating newsfeeds with pinpoint precision, the chemical attack in Damascus suburb of Douma, has left thousands affected by the inconvenient realisation that the 7-year… Read more »

Delete Yourself. Now.

Dear Internet user, Please read the following open letter carefully, as this is the only correspondence you’re getting from us. Look at the state of you there you pathetic blubbering mess, worrying about what your technological devices are doing to your life; what information we’re taking, what conversations we’re listening in on, what filth you’ve been… Read more »

“Here’s Some Settings, Now Fuck Off”

FACEBOOK CEO Mark Zuckerberg has responded to the data breach controversy involving Cambridge Analytica yesterday by introducing some new settings, before telling users to cop on to themselves. “What the actual fuck do you think we were doing with all that information?” Zuckerberg began in his latest status update, “did adverts about items you were… Read more »

Facebook Set To Clampdown On Fake Drama Posts

A NEW Facebook algorithm will be rolled out shortly, aimed at keeping news feeds clear of manufactured drama, fake stories about what your kids said, and clearly fake racially-charged diatribes from weird members of your family. Mark Zuckerberg took to Twitter earlier today to state that he felt his social media network had ‘lost it’s… Read more »